Am I wrong for wanting a mature guy?

[Paula]

Someone who is respectful and courteous, who doesn't swear or drink excessively, who is well groomed and looks after his health, who doesn't make crude jokes and is honest and hardworking, and not superficial, and also kind and generous. I feel like the guys my age (22) are not like that at all, they seem more like overgrown boys than men

[VincenzoG91]

Modern men now live in an extended childhood until about age 29. They sit around playing console games and surfing internet porn and not accomplishing much. Women are now getting 60% of the college degrees in the U.S., because they are more focused and responsible. I live near a university campus, and even though it's a coed campus (University of Minnesota) about 95% of the regular joggers are female. The men are presumably sitting at home, flabby, and scratching themselves. If you want a mature guy, you're probably going to have to date a guy who is at least in his thirties.

[Kaius]

not all guys are that immature. when i was 23, I was already married and was in business school focusing on my future.
i wouldn't recommend dating someone that much older. There's always gonna be a disconnect because guys in their 30s
want mature intelligent women. The young hottie look gets boring even for a healthy dude! You'll be competing with women
their age, which has brains, career, and most of the time, super-sexiness.

[the_robot]

Vinzenzo is right, most guys are like that until their thirties (and some well over the thirties) so you'll have a hard time finding a guy that fits what you want.. there's some though.

[xxazurexx]

I think the mature and immature are to be found in all age groups.
Just because men are older, doesn't automatically mean 'mature guy'.

[VincenzoG91]

I think the mature and immature are to be found in all age groups.
Just because men are older, doesn't automatically mean 'mature guy'.

That's true, too. My best friend is 45, and he is still struggling to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. He threw away a great career eight years ago to go into consulting, just for the independence. Then, four years ago he threw away the consulting gig for a get-rich scheme involving real estate. That didn't work out either, so now he's just getting by, keeping an eye out for another real estate deal, just in case he ever gets his cash back out of the previous one.

[the_robot]

I think the mature and immature are to be found in all age groups.
Just because men are older, doesn't automatically mean 'mature guy'.

Yeah, that's true, just look at me

[Wonder87]

Eh, im 21, and most of the girls at my university begin every sentence with "my boyfriend did this" or "my boyfriend told me to...". Comes across as very needy, that they want everyone to know that they have a boyfriend, and that their entire life revolves around their boyfriend. To be honest i think both boys and girls are immature to roughly the same age. Men in general lack the sense of hardwork, noteworthy careers, and in some cases how to treat a girl with respect till about late 20s. Girls lack a sense of independence, not always needing a man, and in some cases careers as well, again to about late 20s.

I also think that girls dont know which guys to look for, they are still looking for the slightly older, rugged bad boy. If you want to be respected, and a serious relationship with a guy who has career goals, maturity, etc, id recommend someone within 2 years of you, younger included. And look in the right places. School, perhaps work. Not at parties, bars, etc.

[Graham Berkeley]

Paula, it sounds to me you are looking for an image more than anything else. I understand that any woman wants to be with a "Real Man" but bear in mind like anything else with people it is a spectrum. I know a couple "real men" who frankly act the way they do, which makes girls flock to them, because they have NO idea how to cut loose and have fun and were raised by mothers who told them they were worth nothing if they weren't perfect gentlemen AAAAALLLLLL the time. Both guys I speak of got into relationship and had NO idea how to make them work in the long term and were used TERRIBLY as rebound guys because they were easy going and predictable and frankly placating and before to long their GFs are saying things like "Their too nice!"

I'm not advocating dating a frat guy or one of those dudes in his early thirties with a job a 16 year old can do but find a balance.

[Wonder87]

if a girl is saying about a guy "hes too nice", then the girl is immature. Girls want the "challenge" and crap like that. Women want stability.

[xxazurexx]

That's true, too. My best friend is 45, and he is still struggling to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. He threw away a great career eight years ago to go into consulting, just for the independence. Then, four years ago he threw away the consulting gig for a get-rich scheme involving real estate. That didn't work out either, so now he's just getting by, keeping an eye out for another real estate deal, just in case he ever gets his cash back out of the previous one.

Yeah, I know that kind. Some don't know what they want and well into their years and there are some who are early 30's who still think and act like they are 18....like the recent one in my life. He could be so immature at times. Don't think my dad ever grew up either...still thinks he's a stud in his sixties, lmao

[xxazurexx]

if a girl is saying about a guy "hes too nice", then the girl is immature. Girls want the "challenge" and crap like that. Women want stability.

I always thought it was men who liked the 'challenge'?

Maybe I'm different, but if I had to work and to reel in a guy, it would piss me off and I'd get bored.

[Cosmo]

I'm all of those things, except I make immature jokes... but we all need to lighten up a little.

that's also probably why I've gotten every job I've ever interviewed for. A young guy who is honest, courteous, clean cut, has a degree and hasn't been staring at my boobs? HIRED! Too bad its rare that I get an interview because my resume sucks.

Falling in love with an alcoholic who relapses 2.5 years into the relationship matures you up in a hurry, plus, I've always wanted to just be a genuinely nice person.

But you want to know something? I rarely, ever, meet women and they rarely take an interest in me. I'm not even looking for play, just female company would be nice. I'm a very good looking guy imho so its not my looks and I'm fairly funny. Meanwhile, I have a friend who is a total asshole, drinks excessively and truth be told is a little ugly. Women flock to him. He probably has slept with ~200 women easy in the last two years. In fact, I've yet to meet a girl who hasn't at least heard of him. (dated two that slept with him after we broke up). The problem is not with men, its with women. They flock to the immature 'bad asses'. There are many great mature guys out there but you know where they are? Alone because women don't take an interest in the nice guy.

[Alvy]

Not all women are like that though...if I were a drunken, immature asshole who acted like a jerk all the time, my partner wouldn't even glance, let alone start up a conversation with me. And she's 21 - it just depends on the person.

[Cosmo]

I'm not saying that all women are like that either, but the stereotype that men are assholes is derived from the fact that a great deal of women pursue the asshole.

I used to only seem to meet unintelligent sluts, but I changed my behavior and where I was looking and found strong powerful women. The problem lies in the fact that you need to have an in to meet these women... Sharing a class, crashing into each other, co-workers, client-server relationship... You won't meet these women at the club.

Your not going to find a mature guy at the bar. I'd rather catch some Z's than grind with a skank at a club.

My point is, its likely where you are looking. I know tonnes of single mature guys. Note how I said single, I think we all are until we act like the asshole to pick up a girl and THEN treat her right.