Does he or doesn't he?

[Yasmina84]

Hi!

According to my friends a guy I know is definately into me, but I'm not that convinced. Which isn't that shocking, cause I'm really REALLY bad at reading signs
There's this guy I know who's always making me laugh with his weird stories. Everytime I see him (from a distance) he's waving overenthusiastically at me and smiling. Whenever we bump into each other he tries to be funny (which he is, so it's not pathetic or something ). The only thing he needs to stop doing is hitting me on my shoulder, cause that's just weird. I never even thought about him being interested until I told my friends about 'the funny guy' I know and what he always does. They're convinced he wants something more and that I'm missing signs (again). I think he's just being friendly, since I heard he already has a girlfriend and I've never thought about it.
So, does anyone agree with me or are my friends right? Am I totally blind?

[xxazurexx]

Some guys are just all round clowns and like to be the centre of attention.

If he has a gf, then I wouldn't take any notice of it or be reading anything into it.

[Yasmina84]

That's what I thought, but then again I think he is acting a bit weird. If he's clowning around, then he would be doing that with everyone. And what's up with the getting into my personal space part? If I'm standing somewhere he'll stand directly next to me with no space left between us, and there's the 'hitting' thing. Would you have said the same thing if he didn't have a gf?

You know what, maybe I just need new friends. These ones are messing with my head!

[xxazurexx]

Maybe he does it with you and because you laugh the loudest at his jokes and you make the best audience.

I tend to look for more concrete signs that a guy may be interested and I wouldn't read there could be an interest and unless I was getting something positive....as in him asking for my number, perhaps? A guy who constantly clowned around, wouldn't be enough for me to be thinking 'he may be interested'.
If I had to imagine that every guy who joked with me, fancied me....I'd be thinking I had an awful lot of male admirers, put it that way.

[Alvy]

Why don't you just ask him? All these 'oh I wonder if he/she likes me when he/she does this, this and this around me' games are just moronic.

[Yasmina84]

That's a good point! Just wanted to be sure, cause I really suck at reading signs. A guy basically has to flatout tell me he likes me otherwise I'll never notice. Which is a problem if someone likes me, and despite the (according to others apparently obvious) signals I probably won't respond. So I needed to be sure about this one. I don't want to lead anyone on, cause I do know I can be a bit flirty. It's just the way I am. So I kind of ignored him for a while. Which totally sucked. I'll get him something to drink next week to make it up to him.

[Yasmina84]

@Alvy:
I've thought about that too, but since he probably has a gf I don't know if I want to know the answer. If he says yes that's a problem, since it'll make things awkward (especially for him I guess). If he says no...well that's okay. But how would I ask him without just blurting it out? Problem is there are always people around us.
I should ask. You're right about it being moronic. There was nothing 'wrong' until people start filling my head with this crap.

[Cosmo]

if he has a girlfriend then don't be a homewrecker.

If he's not happy with her he can leave her, spend some time getting over her and THEN pursue you.

If he leaves his current girl for you, he'll do the same to you down the road. Its a pattern I've been trapped in for quite some time. Girl leaves guy for me, a year or so later leaves me for the flavor of the year.

[Alvy]

Most basic and simple way of finding out, ask what he did during the weekend. Does he like to travel? Ask if there are any places he'd like to visit in the future. Or if you're really bold, invite him out somewhere during the weekend.

[xxazurexx]

And after you have invited him out, just hope that you don't have a very cross gf on the war path looking for you.

I'd be finding out if he's attached before I suggested anything to him.

[Alvy]

That's why I suggested to her to ask him if he did anything over the weekends. Good way to find out if he was busy with a partner, if he has one.

[Yasmina84]

No I'm not a homewrecker. Don't worry, don't lock up your boyfriends I'll leave them alone I just want to find out what's going on, if there is something going on. I'm not trying to get in the middle of something. I'll find out next week. I'm not the 'Hey do you fancy me' kind of girl, but I'll talk to him. Talking about the weekend is a good suggestion! If he talks about his gf I can just hang out with him like I just to, if he doesn't I'll do my best to figure out what the deal is. Or if he 'hits' me again I'll might slap him back for once, see what he thinks about that. Just kidding.

Problem with finding out if someone's attached or not, is the fact that a lot of men don't talk about that. I can't even count the times that I went on dates with guys and found out they had a gf back home. It makes you feel like crap. I don't buy the 'I'll leave her for you' bit at all. If it's that easy to leave someone, then it'll be that easy to leave me. No thanks.

[xxazurexx]

OK, well easy way to find out if he has a gf. When he's next clowning around, laugh and say something along the lines of 'How the heck does your gf put up with you'?....but laughingly. You are then putting him on the spot.

And nope, never buy the 'I will leave her' bit. If he likes you and wants to try things with you, he would end it with her first.

[Yasmina84]

I'll give it my best shot. Not sure where this will go, but I'll deal with that later.