My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half now. I have been a christian my entire life but never regularly attended church. My mom and step dad go, and I will go every now and then, and my dad has always had the idea, you can still believe in God and Jesus without attending church, which I do believe. Well, my boyfriends' father is a pastor, and my boyfriend has been coming down on me about going church, and how he wants me to want to go to church with him, and doesn't want to make it sound like he's making me. Well, i have no problem going to church what so ever, but it's just not a priority.
My problem is, is with his father being a pastor, I would like to think he would be the most non-judgemental person out there. Well I was wrong. I found out my boyfriends sister was practically 'shunned' from the family because she had had an abortion,(it took 8 months of dating for me to finally meet her and not one person in the family speaks good of her, I like her, she's super friendly and has been nothing but nice to me, and i feel like i'm going to be hated for liking her) .. well the pastor said he wants nothing to do with her. And then yesterday, my bf and i were watching a tv show where there was a gay kid in the show, and my bf made a comment about if his 'son' ever came home gay he would smack the shit out of him. I couldn't believe he had something like that. It's scaring me too, b/c i saw us having a future, and awhile back I told him if we were to get married I want to adopt a kid b/c i was adopted and believe in the system, and his comment was "that's fine, but i want it to be a white kid" (we are white) and I was appalled by his comment, can he not love something or someone different than himself. This judgemental thing is driving me crazy, all i can keep thinking to myself is "only God can judge me" and who does he think he is to be so critical? I guess my question is what can i do? I feel like if i talk to him seriously about it, it's going to come out sounding like it's all his fault and he might only become defensive.