Boyfriend's FEMALE Best Friend likes him. What should I do?

[lahnnabell]

I agree with Indi that you need to play Alpha here. The Alpha female controls the pack, but you need to do so in a "lead by example" sort of way. Keep your emotions under lock and key because trying to get under your skin is this chick's MO. Now that your boyfriend has finally stepped up she's looking for a way to get back in the circle. She's being friendly to you because she figures that's her best shot. So far you're the Alpha because she now defers to you. Your boyfriend gave you clear priority, and that's the way it should be.

And jeez, what IS it with chicks calling these taken men in the MIDDLE of the NIGHT! And what is up with said men answering those damn calls. My boyfriend would practically convince himself that if he didn't pick up his cell that something terrible might happen. Even his mom and I talked about it and she said, "Doesn't he know why these girls call him all the time? They don't NEED to go to him for help." Glad she and I are on the same page. His momma loooves me.

There was a time early on in our relationship when my boyfriend wouldn't gush about me to certain female friends of his. I was curious as to why at first, but I didn't push it. He was clearly very into me and made me his priority. Finally, his female friends noticed our relationship status on FB and they started bombarding him with questions. I asked him why he was so timid about telling them and he said that he was afraid of offending those he had "histories" with. I told him that he didn't owe these girls any sort of explanation. If they were truly friends with him, then they'd be happy for him. As with the OP's situation though, it came down to him stepping up to the plate. If a guy is calling me his girlfriend, he better own that statement through and through.

[KiwiBina]

Lol don’t worry, we’re not getting carried away with thoughts of marriage; it’s just that we’re so comfortable talking about anything… seriously, anything, that sometimes it pops up and it just randomly popped up in our conversation when he was asking if anything happened for one of my last days in a class (our final was just hanging out and eating haha, awesome) and that was a story from that class cause my classmates noticed my ring and asked. So I told my bf about it and I really don’t know if Donna heard; I could care less.

Indi: that is exactly why I dislike him letting Donna pursue him… even if he won’t admit to liking her, there’s only so much time before he’s forced to notice her attraction to him; and being male… he’ll respond to it one way or another. And I do mention all the colleges that are asking for me, as well as how I’m top of several of my classes (and Donna’s flunking haha). And she wants to play piano; the other female best friend (Erin) of my boyfriend was all ‘oh Bina knows how to play! Donna move, let Bina play! Go play for us bina!’ And I used to compete in california and internationally so… I just realized I totally crushed her and embarrassed her without even meaning/trying to.

Bluesummer: Oh wow, I completely understand about your ex… it seemed like all that was happening with my boyfriend and Donna; God it sucks! But he seems to be handling it now and Donna’s backing off… so far. And CONGRATS to you and your fiancé! =]

Lahnnabell: I’m pretty much in control of the situation right now. I think the talk about leaving for Paris scared the sh*t out of my boyfriend. After I told him I’d rather leave than stick around with another girl all over him and him not doing anything he stepped up to the plate. But it frustrates me that it took something that drastic to sink into his mind before he actually did something about it. I’m happy he’s setting the boundaries and carrying through with them, but it irks me that it took him that long. And he’s leaving for 2 months to go to the Philippines and Mexico on family trips this summer. First person he’s gonna see when he gets back is Donna cause he goes straight to school once he gets back. =\

Erin (surprise!) is like a sister to me now. =o or well she’s felt like one for a while, but even more lately haha… I get along with her so well. And I think Donna hates me even more for that =\ not only have I told her best male friend to stop being so close to her, but it seems her best female friend hangs out with me more than her now. Ouch; I can sort’ve see why she dislikes me, but even though she’s a total witch to me I try to be nice to her. I really didn’t take Erin on purpose; we just get along really well haha. (And Donna’s reaaaally moody sometimes; talk about PMSing.)

Erin’s graduating this year; she’s going to my college next school year and we’re gonna take classes together. So it’s pretty much a given that Erin’s going to be closer to me than Donna pretty soon.

Donna and my boyfriend are in the same level of education, and they’re graduating at the same time, plus she keeps asking him what college he’s going to cause she’s going to ****ing follow him. She was even saying she wants to take all the same classes as him. I wish I could do that… but I’m two school years ahead of him since I skipped two grades. =\ plus I’ve been taking a heavy school load and summer classes, so I’m already getting my AA degree even though I’m a first year student. I plan to get my Bachelor’s in two more years (instead of four). I admit, I’m insecure in the fact that she gets to spend freaking 5 days (30+ hours) a week with him, while I only get to see him one a week (usually only 1-2 hours), if even… =\ hell, sometimes I don’t get to see him for 3+ weeks. It truly sucks..

Anyways, I won’t be able to visit my boyfriend this week, and since I’m not going to visit him at his school, I won’t be seeing Erin, Donna, or any of his other friends. Erin got all sad (cause we hang out whenever my boyfriend’s off playing basketball), so… just so we can hang out she wants to have a swimming party at her house (mainly for me o_o) for the gang to hang out. Since it’s at a friend’s house, in a more relaxed and open environment (rather than a school), we’ll see just how much Donna pushes the boundaries again, and just how well my boyfriend keeps to the boundaries when all of us are in our swimwear.

Fun fact: I had a really revealing and sexy-styled monokini (one pieced bikini), but I gave it to one of my best friends cause my boyfriend didn’t want other men to see me wearing it. Donna saw my best friend wearing it and was trying to get my best friend to tell her where to get one. Now, Donna and I are almost the same size (she’s like one size bigger), but she’s taller, so therefore looks slimmer. Well… in the thighs. Her stomach isn’t so pretty. Even though I was told I looked really good in the monokini, I felt uncomfortable in it. Donna was telling Erin that she thinks she’d be sexy as hell in the swimsuit O_o. Donna found out my boyfriend liked that swimsuit and she’s hunting like a hound for it now. Then she found out the swimsuit used to be mine and the reason it’s not mine anymore ahahha. She REALLY wants one now. She probably hopes my boyfriend will like it better on her than on me. Kinda pathetic how desperate she’s getting.. =\