+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Why do I fall for guys who don't respect me?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1

    Why do I fall for guys who don't respect me?

    I've been thinking over my past relationships, they've all failed and I think it's because I go for guys who don't respect me or my feelings, who treat me badly. I've got male friends who treat me like a queen and I know they are interested, but for some reason I can't feel anything but friendship for them. I think I'm addicted to drama! Someone who will love me passionately, and who isn't afraid to yell at me, what is wrong with me?!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK: England
    Posts
    4,570
    If you allow guys to walk over you like a doormat, then no they won't respect you.

    To get respect, you have to command respect and if you have no respect for yourself, don't expect that anyone else will either.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Twin Cities
    Posts
    3,763
    You need to read up on the differences between assertive behavior and aggressive behavior. You probably want an assertive guy, but you are choosing aggressive guys.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    It's because you don't respect yourself, Lexi.
    Spammer Spanker

  5. #5
    bluesummer's Avatar
    bluesummer is offline Whatever.
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Kelowna, BC
    Posts
    4,410
    Passionate love has nothing to do with someone yelling at you. Maybe you should try out one of these drama-free guys, and give it a chance. You'd be suprised how quickly you come around to it.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    It's a Jersey Thing
    Posts
    840
    i totally feel the same way sometimes. i have come to grips with the fact that out of all the relationships i've been in that have gone to shit, there is one commonality...myself. i'm not saying your situation is exactly like mine, because i know everyone is different and everyone has had their own experiences that has made them who they are. but i've learned the hard way that my shitty self-esteem and constant fear of what others are thinking of me has led me down a really crappy road relationship-wise, and in other areas of my life too. not to say the blame is all on me, because i know that a guy shouldn't treat me like shit no matter how i view myself, but it's my fault for not feeling that i deserve better and allowing myself to be treated that way. what i've noticed is that once a certain type of guy realizes how vulnerable you are, they take advantage of it in all sorts of ways to boost their own confidence. with my bf now, i think that he does certain things that he knows hurt me because me getting upset (in a really f*cked up way) assures him that i care...

    like everyone else has said so far, if you don't respect yourself, the guys you choose to date won't feel the need to respect you either. might be best to take some time to evaluate yourself. figure out what's going on with you, why you are the way you are (past experiences) and what you do in relationships that makes guys feel like they can crap on you. once you come to grips with yourself, are confident in what it is that you really want/need, this problem will hopefully disappear. i say "hopefully" because i'm still trying to figure myself out and have yet to even reach that point... :o(
    Last edited by RdHrshyKss; 26-05-10 at 10:18 AM.
    the love you take is equal to the love you make

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Texas. Ya know.
    Posts
    488
    Maybe it's because you don't respect yourself? Self esteem issues can lead to some really bad choices.

    I like assertive guys, I don't really find it a turn on when a guy just sits back and lets me take the reins. But the guys I've mostly found myself with have been 'bad' boys. I guess I just need to distinguish between a good guy who has confidence within himself, and just an out and out douchebag.

Similar Threads

  1. How do you get the guy who rejected you to respect you?
    By LB85 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 23-10-09, 12:18 AM
  2. How fast do guys fall in love?
    By SunsetKiss in forum Ask a Male Forum
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-10-09, 06:25 PM
  3. 4 years and no respect
    By babycakes11 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-12-08, 03:21 AM
  4. Men and respect
    By Kristin258 in forum Ask a Male Forum
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 05-05-07, 12:34 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •