I can be the same way around new people.
Maybe you should have a dinner/grill out at your place, on your terms, where you are most comfortable. It'll show them you are extending the olive branch and as I mentioned you'll be more comfortable in your own house. Talk about food, wine, summer plans, vacations, gardens etc...Maybe have like a bean bag game or something handy in case you run out of things to talk about.
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?