To ask or not Ask....

[wicket08]

While in high school I had a crush on this girl. I couldn't really do anything at the time because she was seeing one of my friends. As time passed as with high school friends we all went out into life on our owndirection. After a couple of years now the girl contacts me on Facebook and we start talking. We are both single and now in our mid 20's, she does have a daughter now. She is still going to school to get a teaching degree and is on track to graduate in 6 more months. When we first started talking again she stated she isn't looking for a relationship now and wants to concentrate on her schooling so she can graduate and get a good job to provide for her daughter. Even knowing this the feelingd that I had back then are starting to come back and surface. Should I tell her how I feel or just be the friend?

I don't know if I am just in the friend zone or not, because she keeps talking about high school and hanging out with me and mentioning things I don't remember. She talked about stuff from prom when I couldn't remember she went and she has also talked about my graduation party and I don't remember her being there either. These all sound like things that someone would remember if they had some sort of crush on them.

She has said how other friends that were male that after a while wanted to be more than just friends and everything got weird and she stopped talking to them. Even if we can't be more than friends I would still like hanging out from time to time. How should I proceed? Should I tell her I did have a crush on her back in high school?

[VincenzoG91]

Not only does it sound like you're in the Friend Zone, it seems like she has warned you not to try to move out of the Friend Zone or she will stop being friends with you. If your primary reason for hanging out with her is to try to start dating her, you should break off contact, because you're only headed for unhappiness. It's understandable that you became attracted to her in the first place (assuming she is decent-looking), but to hold on to that attraction for so long, even when she's with someone else or just isn't interested in you that way... that's unhealthy. Are you deliberately avoiding the possibility of a real relationship by focusing on the unattainable?

[wicket08]

I guess I may be focusing on the unattainable, but I am more confused about the Friend Zone. I guess because is she using her schooling to keep me in the friend zone? Or does she just want to be friends.

Also confused on her remembering details about me and about my mood on days from high school. Like I said I though that might be something someone may hold on to because they liked that person. I mean I don't remember some of those things so how does she? Or am I just blowing this way out of portion?

[Shark]

Never listen to a girl when she says "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." That usually means, "I'm not looking for you right now." But that can ALWAYS be changed. No girl actually thinks to herself "wow, I really hope the perfect guy doesn't come up to me today"

Be more confident in yourself, if she engaged you then she probably has some sort of interest in you. Direct the conversation to a more sexual course, but in a very subtle way. And don't constantly be available, be busy. This doesn't mean pretend" to be busy, because then your just a loser. Find something else that your passionate in and pursue it. Focus on your career or school. Give her flowers then withdraw attention from her sporadically. Push/pull ALWAYS works. Even if people are aware that they are being pushed/pulled, it will STILL work. And talk to other girls simultaneously. If your only talking to one girl, your probably going to become too attached to her to soon or become too dependent. If this doesn't work out, then don't worry about it, cut your losses and move on.