I Lost My First Love...

[hello_gorgeous]

Well I hung out with the girl who was interested in me again. She was pretty shy but she told me she had a lot of fun hanging out with me. I'm still feeling empty and alone though. I think about my ex almost all day everyday. It just sucks but I'm learning to deal with it. I think I am making some decent progress. I really feel like trying to talk to her right now but I know that is going to get me no where and she probably would get very annoyed if I attempted to contact her. =/

[cmacattack1]

Yeah, there is no quick fix here. It's going to hurt for some time. This other girl has a tough road ahead considering you aren't even interested in giving her a real shot. But instead of focusing on what she doesn't have that your ex does, just concentrate on having a good time and enjoying each other's company. It'll take some time together for her to open up and as long as you guys aren't escalating too quickly on the intimate front, this can only benefit you and help you in the long run.

[hello_gorgeous]

I mean I'd like to give things a real shot with her, just not now. I think shes got an awesome personality and shes very attractive. She has everything that I want in a girl. i found out that she got out of a 2 year long relationship about 8 months ago too, so she's in a similar situation as I am. But when we hang out, I have fun, and so does she. So that's all that matters at this point. If something happens between us, then awesome. If not then I will still have more confidence than I had before I met her. Because I know that I am able to at least attract the type of girl I am in to.

[hello_gorgeous]

Why must i break the no contact rule? I just don't even know what to do sometimes. I feel almost as bad as the day we broke up. I have been pretending that I didn't love her as much as I thought...its just I have been home alone for the past two days...I have had dreams about her for the past 3 nights and she is all I ever really think about. I keep thinking back on all of the amazing times we had and how awesome I felt and I realize how much I still love her. I don't see how she can just be okay with this... I don't understand how she could do this to me. I don't know...maybe I am just wallowing in self pity.

[cmacattack1]

You are going to put her on a pedestal and remember the good times. You are going to think about her all the time and dream about her too. I am that way eight months after my break up. But I don't contact her. It won't do any good, it's selfish because it reminds her of the bad times she had with us. You find a way to deal and you just do. You have to ask yourself "Is it really worth it to keep myself in this amount of pain not letting go, or can I just let her go and let it slowly go away?" Time heals all and you cannot heal if you are still talking to her. You have to cut all contact, regardless of her contacting you. It has been too soon for either of you to change, so logically, the result of one or both of you being the same person would just mean the relationship would end as it did: in failure.

You are alive and breathing. It's not the end of the world. You will live on and you both may even end up at a later date. It's not impossible. Is it unlikely? Yes, very. You can be happy with somebody else, and I think your experience here will make you a better person and be ready for a more advanced relationship. Your goal isn't to get her back now, it's learning to live life without her again. As you did before you met her.

[mswrongnot]

You should've been more understanding. Both the two of you are still in school so it's really important to stay on the right track and focus on school. And she is really busy, just because she don't have the time to pay attention to you, you shouldn't done what you did. I understand you were insecure and worry and just want to make sure things are still going on between the two of you but the best thing is to listen to her and believe her. But know what if you still have feelings for her, go for it! believe ur feelings and this time just be more mature and understanding. And if she don't care for you anymore, you have nothing to lose, at least you give your feelings another chance.

[hello_gorgeous]

You should've been more understanding. Both the two of you are still in school so it's really important to stay on the right track and focus on school. And she is really busy, just because she don't have the time to pay attention to you, you shouldn't done what you did. I understand you were insecure and worry and just want to make sure things are still going on between the two of you but the best thing is to listen to her and believe her. But know what if you still have feelings for her, go for it! believe ur feelings and this time just be more mature and understanding. And if she don't care for you anymore, you have nothing to lose, at least you give your feelings another chance.

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with you. Just because she was busy with school, didn't mean she had to COMPLETELY shut me out. She came back to me after the first break up because I put on the front that it didn't bother me that we were apart and she got scared of being alone. And since we had gotten back together she slowly started to distance herself and started to push me away. I wasn't being ridiculous in what I was asking of her, I would just like to see/talk to the girl I am deeply in love with at least once a week. Me doing what I did was the result of me finally breaking, I just simply couldn't go on that way anymore. I know that you are supposed to give and expect nothing in return, but when you give and give and give, and then give some more and get NOTHING in return you will understand why I did what I did. She was not able to put any sort of effort into the relationship and that isn't fair. I know that I made the right choice and that I probably don't mean much to her anymore which hurts me a lot. I still don't know why things ended this way and I guess I will just have to live with it.

Thanks for all your advice cmacattack1

[hello_gorgeous]

All the progress I made is gone. Completely gone. A few days back on what would have been our year and a half i texted her a simple "hey how are you doing" she replied saying "what the hell?" and i told her that i was just wondering how she was doing and she told me that she was doing good.

Yesterday I texted her again and told her that I missed her a lot and all of the good times that we had and told her that i still loved her. She didn't text me back...

Later that night, somehow I got signed out of Facebook and when i went to click the box to type my email in, both my email address and her email came up in the drop down box. I made a horrible choice and clicked on hers. It still had all her information saved and it logged in. I looked at her messages. Apparently she threw a party 3 days after we broke up and was really flirting with this guy over messages. She gave him her number and was being so flirty with him. It hurt me worse than the break up. She did the exact same thing with me when we first started talking. I feel so damn worthless and replaced right now, and i can't help but keep comparing myself to this guy. I don't know what to do, or how to feel at this point. I am incredibly upset right now. I guess this is what i get for being nosy. I just can't understand how she can just be done with me and what we had so quickly. I know I sound like a hypocrite because I had that girl who i had a crush on. But I don't know...damn it.

[cmacattack1]

She's not completely done with you, it just doesn't happen like that. She's going to be eventually though, there is nothing you can do about that. But yeah, if you text her about what the relationship used to be with all that sappiness, she's going to respond negatively. To her, you are just bringing back the bad memories too, because that's what she is going to think about after the break up. It takes some serious time on her own for the bad to pass and good memories to remain. Of course, she is going to meet somebody else along the way. Not much you can do about that man. She's moving forward, and with you reminding her that you are still there, she is going to go forward even faster with the thought of you being a cushion in the back of her mind.

The relationship just isn't there anymore. No more anniversaries. No more spending time together. Nothing man. It's a big hole to fill. I think it's important to really find happiness on your own first, so that you don't need anybody in your life to be a happy person. I'm not going to lie to you, it's a difficult journey and takes a shit ton of work, self control, and all that. But it's really beneficial. I've been on my own for over 8 months now and I gotta tell you I feel better every day. I'm finding a way to have a great time and live life on my own and when you do, you exude a certain confidence and there is nothing more attractive then that.

To help yourself, you have to cut off everything, remove her information from you computer, everything that reminds you of her.

[omgamandaa]

How is she doing emotionally? It sounds like she could be VERY stressed out or even depressed. If that is the case, be there for her. You will get through it. My boyfriend and I had the same thing happen back in January. I was being distant, but I didn't realize it. He said, "Why do you hate me?" all the time and it made me feel sooo bad. At one point he said that he didn't know how much longer he could take what I was doing. It was a REALITY CHECK. I immediately went to the doctor and told her what was going on with me and she told me that I was depressed. My boyfriend was very understanding and now we are going strong and living together!