Cheated on Me

[eS.22]

Hi, new to the forum hope this is the right place.

Last night was the worst night of my life. My girlfriend and I love each other very very much have been going out for a year and said she wanted a break for a couple of weeks and that already hurt me as i had absolutely no idea why.

Last night i met up with her in tears and she confessed herself that the night before she slept with someone else while she was at a party and immediately my body just froze and I just lost my mind. I had never felt anything like that before and its the last thing i would wish on someone. I asked her why and she says she didn't know why and she didn't want to do it. Her and the other guy were both drunk and she says it lasted about a minute until she was in tears and told him to get off. I asked her if she had feelings for the guy or if he was more attractive and she said it was nothing like that as she always comments on how attractive I am.

She is definitely not the type of person that would do this and i never saw it coming and that makes it worse. We had always been very open and loyal to each other and I am just so confused right now as to what to do. She says i always make her feel bad for going out but that was only because she goes to open invite parties (which I'm not a fan of) with her friends and i worry about what will happen to her. I talked to her this morning and she said she didn't know if i still loved her and cared about her as we weren't in the best books with each other at the time. I asked her if this was the only time and she got angry and said of course.

She says she loves me so much and she can't live without me and that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to her. She took penicillin the morning after the incident because she was upset and wanted to kill herself.

Ugh.. I just love her so much but the thought of that guy on top of her in my mind makes my blood boil.

I'm so upset and confused right now as I never thought it would have happened to me.

[jjj]

Once a cheater always a cheater. as much as it hurts...walk away..and fast

[Alvy]

Two scenarios, either you 'forgive' her for now, and try to trust her, in which case it sounds like you won't be able to, and it'll make you suspicious of everything she does from now on, or you simply walk away. You've only known each other for a year, which isn't that long. Plenty of loyal women out there who are capable of going to parties without feeling the need to get drunk and banging some stranger.

[eS.22]

Thanks for the advice. I've managed to gather my senses a bit better now. She keeps telling me she never wanted to, and both me and her lost our virginity to each other after 6 months of going out as we were both the type that wanted to wait for someone 'special'.

Its just so hard. She said she didn't want to do it and was angry and upset at the time and she doesn't know what came over her.

I think I'll really sit down and talk to her today. I think a break for a couple or a few weeks is in order just so we both can really find out what we want.

And see where that takes us..

[YSC]

Wow...

If this were to happen to me... I would be quite speechless and I would probably break it off.

I couldn't see myself doing that to anyone and if you were to forgive her, you would be on her about everything and that's something I wouldn't want to deal with for months and months on end.

[TheTooya]

If you left her... the blame wouldn't be on you... leaving her is perfectly reasonable.

Also, know that she already broke your trust. Even if you forgive her, you will never forget. If she goes out to a party, in the back of your mind you will remember that she ****ed around before when she went to a party...

I can't say what I would say if I were you, I don't know if I would leave her... but, that may be the best decision.

[Perryville]

Kill herself with penicillin? How is she going to do that?

[marc1983]

This maybe different for blokes as it is women but having been a "cheater" I'd say she most probably did make a mistake. There will be a reason to her doing it, curiousity maybe. In which case I do believe she could regret it happening and really want to stay with you. I've just made this mistake and wish I never!

On the flip side I have been in a relationship that lacked the sex side that I needed and although I still loved the girl was a serial cheater to fill the hole that was needed. This is where you will need to find the truth from her because if it is due to something in the relationship she needs to be honest to sort it out, I never was however.

Basically I think you need to have a heart to heart and find out the reason behind it. Be aware though she may just be covering tracks to make you feel a bit better about it because regardless of it happening still has feelings for you. The fact you havent run for the rooftops could mean she thinks she has got away with it can say whatever she wants, then if she feels like testing the water again she can.

I could be talking crap though who knows, I hate giving advice! lol

[Cbrider]

Kill herself with penicillin? How is she going to do that?

It's horrible, but I laughed a little when I read your post because I was thinking the same thing.

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Red flag - she got angry when you asked her if it was the only time. Going defensive like that given the question and the circumstances is a bad sign. She sounds manipulative - move on, she's not the one.

[Cosmo]

Kick her to the curb. Been there. She'll do it again.
Put yourself in her shoes. Would you ever cheat on her? What would make you cheat on her? Answers your question, she's gone.

If she's between the ages of 19 and 25 she doesn't want to be in a relationship, she just wants to plow as many random guys as she can until she either: A) is no longer physically attractive, b) gets hurt by enough guys and becomes jaded.

Why do you think the bars are packed with girls?

[7sins]

run!!... she isnt worth it. their are soo many women out there that would treat a man right. Why waste your time on a cheater. If something was lacking in your relationship, a normal, rational person would try and resolve it. Not look for it else where.

[SirWagginston]

Kill herself with penicillin? How is she going to do that?

If you take enough of it, it could kill the good bacteria responsible for digestion, resulting in a lack of nourishment and elevated toxicity levels. Down a pound or two of the stuff, and the effects might be powerful enough to make that deadly.

[VincenzoG91]

She wanted to take a break so she could cheat on you. Then she realized that she was going to feel guilty about it anyway. You should dump her, because:

1. She cheated on you
2. She planned the cheating
3. She doesn't care about you much anymore
4. She is selfish

There are better women out there, start looking now.

[Johng]

This happened to me some years back, wasnt just one it was six, I thought I could forgive but she just did at all over again to me.