Not sure what I need but any kind of help/advice welcome!

[IndiReloaded]

Or, he could just grow the **** up already and suck it up like an adult for those kids. He's sown his wild oats, time to do what's right.

Its time to shit or get off the pot, Marc. You are a weak man and need to get yourself sorted out. Jumping from woman to woman isn't going to make you stronger, its a weakness for you. You try to find your happiness in others, and that's not how it works.

If you can't be a good partner to your children's mother, then leave her alone and just be a good father to those kids.

You need to give up Girl A as well. She deserves someone who can come to her clean, and you have way too much baggage. Sounds like she deserves better, sorry.

[marc1983]

xxazurexx - thanks yeh it pretty much is exactly that. I do wonder if that was the case at the time I met her I was high rolling and we was off every weekend somewhere new. I lived over an hour and a half away and it was just all fun at first. When she fell pregnant I moved up her way and cut off from my old life, I really wanted to do the right thing for my child. It was only once it all got serious it turned to pot. She lost all interest in me and become very withdrawn just wanting to spend all her days at her mothers. I raised all these issues I had to her but eventually I broke and still not wanting to do the wrong thing for my kids (take away there dad) seeked what I needed elsewhere. It was all fine until I met Girl A and she blew me off my feet!

Indereloaded - cheers and honestly this is what I'm trying to do. I am not going to go back with girl B and theres no way on this earth I am not going to continue supporting my kids, although it is a little hard at the moment because girl B doesnt want me to have contact with them. I'm not going to finish with Girl A, I love her so bloody much and I know that, I've had enough empty links and relationships to know the difference, I just really ****ed up yet again

[xxazurexx]

^^If girl B is being awkward and like I said, go seek the advice of a solicitor. You have rights to your kids and a right to see them and be a dad to them.

I can't abide women who use kids and to hit back at an ex partner. That is something I never ever stooped too and despite the fact that my ex left me and for another woman. I never once denied him access to our daughter and because I understand the importance of a child having both parents in their lives and wherever and whenever possible.

Like I said, you have rights too...ensure you make an appointment with a solicitor!

[marc1983]

Ive left a hell of a lot of the break up part out. I have already been to solicitors, it is so much for me to explain but she was obviously very bitter about me breaking up and shafted me legally. I do have my solicitor at the ready with a contact order. My ex is saying she wants me to do it through contact centres but if I'm honest there is no need, I'm no threat to the children and dont think me or the kids deserve to go down that route. I just want to see my kids and make everything as normal as I can for them but she still uses them to punish me.

[xxazurexx]

Ive left a hell of a lot of the break up part out. I have already been to solicitors, it is so much for me to explain but she was obviously very bitter about me breaking up and shafted me legally. I do have my solicitor at the ready with a contact order. My ex is saying she wants me to do it through contact centres but if I'm honest there is no need, I'm no threat to the children and dont think me or the kids deserve to go down that route. I just want to see my kids and make everything as normal as I can for them why she still uses them to punish me.

Your ex is talking a load of bollocks and it's not up to her to dictate where you can see them. A judge would make that decision.

If there is nothing in your past that may prevent you from seeing your kids, you would be able to have access to them and take them wherever you wish, your own place, your families home, etc. And you could apply to have them at weekends if you wanted and have them stay overnight.

Are you registered on the kids birth certificates as the father?

She punishes you and because she is selfish. She thinks of herself firstly and allows her bitterness over events, to stand in the way of you seeing the kids. In situations like this, you have to think what is best for the kids and do what you think is best for the kids, not for yourself. She isn't doing that!

[marc1983]

I know its so shit, but I got a letter from her solicitor saying that I should be looking at contact centres and that my youngest son says he doesnt like his dad. its absolute ball crap and anyone who has seen me first hand with them knows they are the air I breathe.

I am on all my kids birth certificates, she has said she wanted me took off and was gonna change there names to hers when she was having a hissy fit, but my solicitor has said she'd be laughed out of court for suggesting it. She denies saying it now lol

The kids is my upmost top priority and has always been through all of this.

[xxazurexx]

I know its so shit, but I got a letter from her solicitor saying that I should be looking at contact centres and that my youngest son says he doesnt like his dad. its absolute ball crap and anyone who has seen me first hand with them knows they are the air I breathe.

I am on all my kids birth certificates, she has said she wanted me took off and was gonna change there names to hers when she was having a hissy fit, but my solicitor has said she'd be laughed out of court for suggesting it. She denies saying it now lol

The kids is my upmost top priority and has always been through all of this.

She can't stop you having access or from taking those kids, as and where you please. Know why? Because you are listed on the birth certificates, therefore you have equal parental rights to these kids, the same rights as she does. And she will have been informed of this, which is probably why she wanted your name removed. What a dork she sounds.

Sounds about right and that she will try her hardest to blacken your name, in order to stop you getting the kids. But solicitors and judges are aware as to how vindictive people can be in these situations and unless she has the proof to back up her accusations, she is wasting her time.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm not going to finish with Girl A, I love her so bloody much and I know that, I've had enough empty links and relationships to know the difference, I just really ****ed up yet again

Well, then at least have the decency to tell her everything about what has been going on. Respect her enough to let HER make the final decision about whether she wants to own your drama.

The stuff about the children sucks. Your ex has good reason to be bitter, tho, so I would give her some space. A heartfelt apology is also in order, I think.

She will eventually calm down and see that your children need both loving parents. But, if you are in anyway a loser to those kids and drop the ball with them, then you get everything you deserve. Because in that case, she is just protecting her children. So make sure you are a good father and do right by those kids.

Good luck.

[dave_s]

Ok whoa this is getting crazy, let me get one things straight... she denies you access to YOUR children, then she goes to your place and does the dirty with you? whats that all about, i beleive you mentioned that she wanted you back? is she using the children as sort of blackmail to move you back in with her? as im sure you know and a few people have said, honesty is very important in a relationship, personally i'd say its the most important part, you really need to sit her down, tell her exactly how you feel, and maybe get her to be honest about why she is really holding your kids like they are bargaining chips!

She most definately sounds like she has issues, maybe because of you, i could not say for sure of course. But all this time of you sleeping with other people and moving out, have you really, truly been honest with her? told her that you stayed with her out of obligation and not love? that you felt she grew distant and as your needs werent fulfilled you needed to find someone else? multiple times? and i dont mean to say "blame that crazy biatch" because im thinking she was normal once, and you threw her for a loop, and she went a little crazy, but does she know that you dont love her? dont want her? dont need her? you need to have a sit down, somewhere public where you pants can stay ON mind you, and talk all these issues out. She needs to know that she will be happier finding someone else, and she is still young enough to do it!

As for A i still say you need to talk through this as well, your 27 and lying already, how many more may happen if you dont sit down discuss how and why is happened, and truly grow from the experience, it doesnt have to all be negative, and may draw you and A closer together, if she knows about your insecurities, she will understand you better, and may be able to help you to get over them, otherwise its a long life of lies which will make you feel like shit every time, and only hurt her more if she knew you lied!