Dating site question

[SirWagginston]

It's interesting, because at first I assumed that one's profile should be what outlines who he or she is personally and overall, so that others can know perfectly well if they want to try talking to that person. This seemed logical to me as the most time and cost-efficient way to date. Apparently, however, girls prefer a profile that is exciting to read, even at the expense of being uninformative. Now I have lots of girls, but none of them understand who I truly am. They just want to have sex with me, and only so long as I remember not to say anything that's really on my mind.

It sure beats masturbation, though.

[Cbrider]

Online dating, while it's intentions are to match you up on things in common, tend to draw shallow connections. I kind of ran my own experiment with it a while back.

I started out with a picture of me, nothing special, just me. It got a little attention, but nothing worth mentioning.

The next picture was me played basketball - I had no shirt on and I had other players in the background which showcased my height. I got quiet a few responses to that one.

The last one I threw up was one of my dog and I. Now here's the sad part, my dog could pull more tail than anyone I know. I had a zillion responses asking what kind of dog he was, what his name was, etc. That little bastard makes a good wing man, but god, I should start a page for him.

If you really are serious about it, cough up the $50 and move to Match.com or eHarmony. The people there are more dedicated and know what they want - the fee weeds out a LOT of worthless posts.

[SirWagginston]

I'm moving too soon now to want to form a serious relationship, anyways. I'll just take the casual sex until I head off to Kelowna.

[everton11]

Hey, guys and gals...

I started seriously sending out messages on plenty of fish this weekend. Well, I sent around 20+ messages, and only got two replies. Well, I'm sure there are people who get a lower rate of replies or never got any replies at all. But at the same time I started chatting with girls at bookstore and restaurants, and I got two numbers out of the two girls I talked to. Even thought those girls may not have any intention of returning phone calls, It seems like I'm getting more attentions in face-to-face interactions. At least I don't get completely ignore like most of my messages. May be its my picture? I just feel that I don't look as good in pictures.

So is dating site really worth my time? I have read some of those success stories, but what are the odds?

[damn2010]

I have some experience with online dating and actually made me even realize some funny things about myself now that I've been single for around a year or so and I'm trying to get back in the "dating world".

I really don't have problems meeting people otherwise, but I wanted to meet some people outside of my social circle. Honestly, meeting people IN PERSON (like bookstores,etc.) is the best because you can build up an instant impression on them. I once was in the ER at the hospital and asked the cute blonde nurse for her phone number, she gave it to me, and I had two dates with her.

Honestly, the online thing.... it's great for dating "experience"...but I think you will have to be patient to work on a relationship from it as you would in real life.

Here's what's happened in my experience:

-You have a better chance of meeting a girl in person if she contacts you first.

-There are a lot of people on these sites for the WRONG reasons.

-Try to meet up ASAP. Don't force it, but you don't want interest to wain or someone to move on to someone else before your chance. If I connect with a girl, after maybe 2-3 e-mails, I offer MY phone number.

-I've had some initial "try out" dates (coffee, quick dinner, etc.) and it's a good quick gauge of whether you will like the person or not. Even though it's a jerk move sometimes, I basically would stop contact after that. I once went to dinner with one girl that during the date I just felt I wasn't interested in (she looked better in her photos, etc.). I'm a gentleman regardless and offered to walk her back to her car and she offered to drive me back to mine. Once we got to my car, she got very sexually suggestive with some comments and actions (she was stroking the turn signal stick like she was jerking it off! - no joke!) after one kiss and tried to convince me into a second date. Of course I stopped contact with her.

-I had a one-night stand with a very attractive younger girl (the hot girl who has never been treated with 'respect' you know?) on a first date. She was 21, I was 26. We planned a second date and met up, but her dad got into a car accident midway through it (she got the phone call) and it was legit because I later on met her parents (I discussed the accident with her dad). We dated for about 2 months but I noticed all these red flags slowly crop up. She had depression and was seeing a therapist, she was obsessed with her ex- (even though she knew he was bad for her, it's one of those "dangerous" types of obsessions), her ex- and her had bank accounts, cell phones, etc. together still. I was disappointed but eventually we just parted because she got scared (of what she called a "potential real relationship" with me) and ran back to her ex- and I didn't want to deal with a mess of a person like this. This was all about a year ago and she still has all the same issues to this day. Regardless, we do remain friends and talk at least once a month.

-I had a set of two great dates recently with an awesome girl. I went to the beach soon after and we were text heavy (I'll touch on this below) during the weekend and such, but by sunday that week, she basically stopped contacting me.

Here's a few things I learned about myself and others (both from online & offline dating) and advise to you as well:

-It's the girls that I have the least interest in (and make fun of the most, not in a mean way but that whole "cocky & funny" stuff) that actually persist after me the most. When I'm interested in a girl, I actually have the tendency to mess it up more. But when I play disinterested and aloof, I'm more successful.

-If you're funny, confident and can set up a unique first date (after any initial "meeting") then you can likely get a second date.

-Don't keep texting or phone-talking too much early on...I made this mistake and I think it hurt me with some girls and they lost interest because it seemed like I was always "available". Keep it to a minimum, don't reply to texts except sporadically and use the phone to chat a little but mainly to set up dates.

-You still have to play the game regardless how many girls claim they "don't play games". THEY DO. They will still test you, they will still try to dig at you.

-If you hit it off with one girl, play it cool...like I said, don't phone call/text too much, leave all the heavy talking for IN-PERSON.


Good luck!

[lahnnabell]

I experimented with this last year. On Craigslist. Haha, you want a surefire way to get responses, go there! I wrote a very short message about what I like to do, "go out, have fun, dance, drink". I also issued a challenge. I told the guys out there that I could kick their asses in laser tag and/or air hockey. I included a couple of pics. One pretty one of me wearing some makeup, and another of me at a club dancing.

I got 100 responses in 24 hours. Some guys just messaged me a phone number (yeah, right). Some guys told me their life story. One of them even launched into how he had a daughter and blah blah blah. No way. There were very very few promising guys. I read and screened each response. I wish I'd kept them 'cause some were priceless. I went out with only two of them, both of them very awkward dates. But I was rebounding and looking for some fun, so I found it.

I agree that you need to portray yourself as a fun individual. There needs to be little pressure in the beginning so that people feel inclined to get to know you.

[girl68]

You have to pay for it to be serious in a majority of the cases. Eharmony I know of 2 close friends who sucessfully married their partners after having met several decent people off the site.

[xxazurexx]

I only ever got to know two guys from dating sites, who I was seriously interested in meeting.

Turned out the first guy was 'married' and I hadn't known because he didn't tell me, so we didn't meet.

Then the second guy I met a few times, but he was long distance and it turned into a friends thing.

Most guys on the site I'd frequent, which was a UK one, now worldwide though and a free site, are looking for sex. The women are just as bad.

For a laugh, I once changed my username to 'UP FOR FUN' and was bombarded with replies from men who assumed 'easy lay'....haha

I stopped going on it and aint been back since.

I prefer the 'traditional and old fashioned' way.....getting to know people in real life.

[SirWagginston]

It's the girls that I have the least interest in (and make fun of the most, not in a mean way but that whole "cocky & funny" stuff) that actually persist after me the most. When I'm interested in a girl, I actually have the tendency to mess it up more. But when I play disinterested and aloof, I'm more successful.

I noticed the exact same thing! When I treat them like I don't care about who they are as a person, they want to have sex with me. When I'm interested in who they are and try to make a deeper connection, they go running. I think girls should stop and think a minute the next time they say something like, "How come he only wants me for sex?"

[warriormaiden]

For me, it gets kinda scary when a guy seems SOOO interested in you, and wants to know ALL about you, and really wants to go THERE.

For me, it comes off as kinda needy?

If you just approached in a carefree kind of way, it doesn't have to be sleazy, it could just be a cool relaxed greeting with some personality, I would respond to that better than you trying to get all up in to my grits.