My gf has two kids 8 and 3 who have no fear or respect for adults and seem to feel that they actually are the boss. Two things, my gf is borderline bipolar and her ex husband is very defiant and is the "nobody tells me what to do" type.
The kids have totally destroyed our relationship to make a two year story a short one. I have left her several times because of it and then have come back a few weeks in hopes of it going away. Then I end up leaving again. It's a cyclical chain of events.
I truly believe given her bipolar and ex husband being the way he is that the two children have a chemical inbalance in the brain which probably requires meds for the kids. She is totally against the meds and won't even give it a try. She has this counselor come into her home for two days a week for two hours. And one other counselor into the oldest one's school class on friday. Counseling has been in effect for 4 months now. I see no improvement at all! Now of course the lady that goes into his classroom reports improved behavior. I find that frustrating because I know that nothing has changed at home at all. Couselor and gf keep charts to record the kids bad behavior. I notice that my gf will slack off on documenting outbursts which then make the behavior charts look better. Then she acts like she actually believes the kids are getting better because the charts look better. As for the counselor at school reporting the improved behavior, I feel they pad their reports to validate their job and protect job security. And that's a shame, plus not fair to anyone involved. If the kid isn't getting better at home, he's not getting better at school either.
I think that it's come to the point where they need to be put on meds. They are horribly behaved. Every little stitch of the day is either an arguement with their mom, disagreement, fighting, screaming, or crying, drinking out of containers in the fridge, taking a dump in the toilet and not flushing, causing problems with my kids when they come over to see me, ect. She has tried to reason with the almost 9 year old that his behavior has driven me to leave several times and that it's not fair to her and I that we can't have a relationship because of him and his brother's behavior. I know to myself he could care less. He just looks at me as some guy he doesn't want there and he wishes his Dad was there.
And last, her and her family all complain about the kids behavior. Her family is hardly ever around them. Now keep in mind that I'm arround them much more than her family, but when I complain about the behavior, I'm now the instant a**hole. As if I have no right to be misserable and speak up on the problem! Now how fair is that! I think it's a crock and I'm ready to bag it if she doesn't at least give the meds a try. Counseling isn't working and I'm sick of those kids dictating the sanity level of the household!
Any feedback would be great! Thanks!