seducing him

[burning rose]

Hey

I was in a relationship with a really great guy recently, but early on he confessed a nervous problem which resulted in us never getting intimate, i'm sure you can imagine for yourselves without me explaining his problem
My mistake was that i decided to respect that and give him space until he was ready, instead of flirting to the point he would get the courage to look beyond it.
This was my mistake.
We got so comfortable the way we were the spark went and we became amazing friends.
This lead to a lot less effort being made.
(I am a really lade back gal, i like to do my thing and let my partner his or her thing, so long as at some point we both have time for each other too.)
After a while i came to realise the situation so i broke it off.
We haven't seen each other so much for a few weeks since we broke up and i've really found the attraction again for him that i had before we lost it.
I want to rekindle the spark and try again and make a change for the mistake i made before.
But in order to do that i need to get that mutual excitement back. I know its possible we still flirt and joke but i just don't know how to go about making my intentions clear (subtly/sexily) in a way that makes him interested too.
What can i do to start up the spark again.

This question is particularly from men that have been in similar situations or not, but for women as well. What would make you feel that excitement, that risk that nervous edge.

May i make a note that currently he's away visiting family for a few weeks, but i'm seeing this as an opportunity to create the excitement before i see him next.

Suggestions would be much appreciated.

[Gigabitch]

No, I don't think I can imagine his nervous problem. Would you care to elucidate? It matters.

[RdHrshyKss]

are you saying that he has some kind of problem with getting an erection and gets nervous about it so he avoids the situation altogether?

[bloodtippedrose]

^ thats what I was thinking. I dont get it. Its hard to give advice on exciting a certain guy when we don't know what his issue is. You shouldnt be ashamed to say it, its not like youre naming names and posting pics

[QueenofCorona]

You gotta realize that seduction (sex) and affection are two different things.

Do you want him to **** you or do you want him to love you?

You can get about any guy to have sex with you but realize you can't force love feelings if its not there.

Sleeping with that friend may be the end of the friendship so just keep that in mind. What you have now is probably not worth a broken friendship/awkwardness.

[burning rose]

o god no i'm not trying to trick him into bed as you might think.

he's basically very self confident so when it came to sexual stuff he got to nervous and would lose his erection after a short time.
So i left him so to give him the time to get the confidence.
But from speaking to male friends and looking back myself realised this was the wrong way to go about it,
But none the less the situation was that i stopped coming onto him because i was worried he would get too nervous whic resulted in us being to comfortable without the sex.
But now we've split up i know that the whole package is back, i just don't know how to put it back in motion and could do with some tips about how to start.

(and i mean on a relationship level not just sex, thats just something that comes with the whole package, its not whats important)

[cmacattack1]

So now that you guys are apart for a few weeks, you found the spark again? How does spending less time together get you the spark back? Curious about that.

[lahnnabell]

I think this is a one-sided thing. You are possibly feeling this spark, but he is not. Any attempt you make at "seducing" him is going to look like you want to bed him. The fact that you are very laid back is probably sending him the wrong signals too. Instead of playing these games, you should be upfront about how you feel.