really sucks

[lahnnabell]

I'm not upset. Just curious as to why your view flip-flops based on gender. You wouldn't go down on a friend of yours, but you'd have sex with her regardless of the fact that it would change the relationship. What if that change complicated the friendship (as you claim to say it would)? You say you would still do it. At least that is what I gathered.

It's only inevitable if you make the decision. Banging my friends in any way is not an option because I want to keep them in my life, as friends. Sex is not worth losing my close friends, or complicating those friendships. There is no such thing as an "accident". Similar to how a drunk person may cheat on their SO; it's still a conscious decision to move forward.

[Charlie Boy II]

I just don't think I take the whole thing as seriously as you do. Let's just agree to disagree. No need for moralising or value judgements.

You seem like a very serious young girl. I don't think I've ever seen you make one joke, or expressed amusement in any form.

[misombra]

i've given up thinking i can be friends with a guy without any desire on either persons part at some point in time. i've tried to be friends with guys and it always ends up with someone becoming more interested. it all depends on how far anybody is willing to take it. so i guess i agree with charlieboy. he said he wouldn't do anything with a friend-girl who was too interested or had feelings beyond those of his. but it's always hard to tell those things.

the blow job thing is a bit generational i think. one generation down from me is a group that believes oral sex is not intimate. whereas in my generation it very much is. i think offering a friend a blow job because they're down is a pretty insecure thing to do, but that's just me.

[lahnnabell]

I just don't think I take the whole thing as seriously as you do. Let's just agree to disagree. No need for moralising or value judgements.

You seem like a very serious young girl. I don't think I've ever seen you make one joke, or expressed amusement in any form.

You haven't read the majority of my responses then Issues like this one I feel seriously about. And I generally take relationships seriously because I feel that many others do not. This probably has to do with the several times I've been hurt by boys in the past. It is quite devastating to put yourself on the line for someone only to have it not work out. I'm sure you know this.

This is the same feeling some women go through when a guy might want sex without the emotional strings. In time, they learn that giving out sex is not the key to a man's heart. We learn to become hardened to this fact. We become more guarded, we scrutinize the actions of man, searching for a way to understand so that we can learn to develop relationships that last.

You are different, yes. You are very lighthearted about your relationships, and it seems like there is very little that gets you down. That's good! I have probably become rather jaded about relationships. I tend to put on my serious face when around the forum because there are young people that need tough love, and there are many people in pain. I don't take it lightly when people are in pain, or when pain is a potential outcome.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah, I have never been seriously wounded by a relationship or a girl. Girls and relationships have always been something positive and fun. Not always for the girls though, I have to admit. Even my own mum said the other day she think it's about time I got my heart broken.

Anyway, that probably explains the difference in your attitudes. It's hard to empathise with another's experience when you have no experience of what they're going through yourself.

[lahnnabell]

It takes a special person to break your heart. I've been with several special guys. And while they've all hurt me in various ways, it's that pain that has taught me to be stronger and more aware of myself and others. But in that moment, you don't have this rational viewpoint. In the moment of being hurt, it's a pain that renders your senses useless. You don't know which end is up. You can't think beyond each second that goes by. The world FAILURE is emblazoned in your mind. I remember that feeling last March when I was packing my stuff to move out of my ex's apartment. It was a day of shifts that alternated between crying and purging some of the pain that would build up, and packing my things so that I might be done with it sooner. Soon after, I found this place

[Gigabitch]

And Lahna, Giga etc, and I don't really see what you're getting so upset about. I disagree I have painted myself as "an insensitive asshole", I thought we were just exchanging views.

I'm not upset and I don't think you're an asshole. I think you're emotionally irresponsible, though, but you knew that. I don't think you really see the female point of view, or think it's any of your concern. Remember that friend of yours you were involved with last year, the one who I thought you treated like a guy with big tits and she ended up being an actual girl with feelings and everything? I'll bet she cried plenty over you.

yeah, I have never been seriously wounded by a relationship or a girl. Girls and relationships have always been something positive and fun. Not always for the girls though, I have to admit. Even my own mum said the other day she think it's about time I got my heart broken.

I couldn't agree more. Then you'll come to understand the kind of agony that can be caused when the other person isn't as invested as you are.

[Junket]

Y'know, I thought my g/f was kinda a dude with tits.

Because I'm sure she had some guards up, she wasn't presenting a very feminine, emotional side.

Then one day, as I was discussing this with my brother, he stopped me and said, "Dude, she's a girl, no matter how different you think she is, she's still a girl, she still likes flowers."

He was right.

First time I brought her flowers on a whim, I got anal that night.

If only it were that easy, anymore...

[Gigabitch]

Yeah. Now you have to buy her jewelry.

[Charlie Boy II]

Remember that friend of yours you were involved with last year, the one who I thought you treated like a guy with big tits and she ended up being an actual girl with feelings and everything? I'll bet she cried plenty over you.

I was the one that got attached to her, actually, and I think I came off worse than her. I broke up with her because she being dodgy, she deserved it. She definitely wasn't the victim.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi what's your obsession with my chosen field? I love it, I have a certain knack for it, and I've found exactly what I want to do with my life. And I object to being painted with the one sleazy brush. We are not nearly so litigious in Australia, especially after a swag of reforms at the start of the decade. I'm not going to be an ambulance chaser anyway, plaintiffs in personal injury cases are almost always good for nothing losers.

Point. I did notice that about OZ, you actually still separate the law profession in most states if I recall.

Its not obsession about your chosen field. I just don't like lawyers. I get to interact with quite a lot of them, either those in politics or corporate dealings and I really have met few I respect. Don't get me wrong; they are excellent at what they do, but so are certain mercenaries. I think that law as a profession needs serious reform, similar to the finance profession.

Perhaps you'll be one of those few exceptions I know. But if you are going to be trying cases, then probably not.

As an aside, I've noticed its hard to find hate jokes about scientists. Compared to the volume about lawyers. I wonder why?

[Junket]

Yeah. Now you have to buy her jewelry.

I don't know if I can do it.

I just can't justify purchasing something so unpractical.

[IndiReloaded]

Buy her a really nice pen for signing cheques.

[lahnnabell]

How are flowers practical? They sit on your desk, and die in about a week. Personally, I've never been fond of flowers. They represent unoriginality in my eyes. Any goon can stop off at the grocery store to pick up a dozen roses. I like to know that there is more thought behind a gift than, "I need to leave 15 minutes early so that I have time to buy her some flowers."

The flowers were certainly practical enough if they got you anal, right? So, why would jewelry not yield the same results?

[Charlie Boy II]

Point. I did notice that about OZ, you actually still separate the law profession in most states if I recall.

Its not obsession about your chosen field. I just don't like lawyers. I get to interact with quite a lot of them, either those in politics or corporate dealings and I really have met few I respect. Don't get me wrong; they are excellent at what they do, but so are certain mercenaries. I think that law as a profession needs serious reform, similar to the finance profession.

Perhaps you'll be one of those few exceptions I know. But if you are going to be trying cases, then probably not.

As an aside, I've noticed its hard to find hate jokes about scientists. Compared to the volume about lawyers. I wonder why?

Thank you for explaining once again that you don't like lawyers. It is well and truly noted. Perhaps you could move on now.

And if you find them mercenary perhaps it is because the US/Canada/Australia/UK are based on an adverserial system. Each lawyer does his best for his client and by doing so the truth usually emerges. That is the system's design. Although I agree there is some need for reform. Particularly around the law of negligence (not so much in Australia, because the insurance industry almost collapsed in the late 1990s and a whole swag of legislation was brought it is now far more difficult to establish a claim in negligence)Yes I will be trying cases, because that is the fun part. I already appear in Court regularly.

And scientists are hardly beyond reproach. They are known for an unusual capacity for childish, ego-driven behaviour. There are also plenty of mercenary scientists and plenty of bad research.