Why do we hurt the ones we love more than anything

[Lovehurts85]

I've never asked for relationship advice on a forum before, but I guess strangers couldn't screw it up less than I have myself already.

I've been in an online relationship with a woman for a little while now. I'm 24, she's 34. She lives on the other side of the country and I'm completely and utterly in love with her. I was a total a$$hole. I accused her of lying to me about herself twice. I don't know why I did it, I knew how she would react. I trust her with the most intimate details of my life, I've told her things about myself that I've never told anyone else. So I have no idea why I wouldn't trust her in telling me the truth. Anyway, she has just stopped talking to me and basically told me to pound sand. She said she really did love me and that I was being crazy, which I know I was.


My question is why do we hurt most the ones we love most and what if anything can I do to show her how sorry I am?

[allsmiles]

Online relationships don't work. I've seen so many people get involved in them and get hurt. She has done you a favor now you can find someone who is right for you and possibly someone you can meet in person.

[Lovehurts85]

It sure doesn't feel like she's doing me a favor. It feels like my heart's been ripped from my chest and shredded.

[Ashurii]

I was in the same boat; the guy I'm in pain over was someone I met online almost two and a half years ago (he flew the 2000 miles to chill with me for a week, however ). I accused him of not talking to me or something ridiculous like that, since he..well. He was talking to me like usual. Why do we do this? Because we're human, I suppose, with our own insecurities and/or fears. Maybe we get to fearing them so much, we see things that may or may not exist. I don't know, maybe someone has better insight than I.

[Lovehurts85]

You're probably right, loving her scares me to death, and I don't get scared easily.

[NBT]

I've never asked for relationship advice on a forum before, but I guess strangers couldn't screw it up less than I have myself already.

I've been in an online relationship with a woman for a little while now. I'm 24, she's 34. She lives on the other side of the country and I'm completely and utterly in love with her. I was a total a$$hole. I accused her of lying to me about herself twice. I don't know why I did it, I knew how she would react. I trust her with the most intimate details of my life, I've told her things about myself that I've never told anyone else. So I have no idea why I wouldn't trust her in telling me the truth. Anyway, she has just stopped talking to me and basically told me to pound sand. She said she really did love me and that I was being crazy, which I know I was.


My question is why do we hurt most the ones we love most and what if anything can I do to show her how sorry I am?

Uhh, WEEEE don't. YOU do!

(lol Ok now I'll be serious)

First off, what did you think she was lying about? Her pics?

If so, that IS POSSIBLE. Tons of people steal pictures on the internet, so you were RIGHT to be skeptical.

People ALSO lie about their LIVES when it comes to people they don't know.

I once talked to a girl who lied about everything BUT her pics. Her name, her age, how she grew up, if she had a kid, EVERYTHING.

So no, you weren't wrong for doing that. However, the WAY you did it may have been wrong.

Instead of ACCUSING, just ASK. Or, if she'd even get mad at THAT, just ask "leading" questions that might answer what you want to know without you having to be DIRECT.

Truthfully though, if she LOVED you, she wouldn't even flip or be insulted over anything you asked or doubted.

Instead, she would CALMLY TELL you whatever you wanted to know, to eliminate your fears.

So, perhaps she WAS hiding something. Hence, how MAD she got. (Come on dude, don't let your love blind you!)