How to get over being shy?

[tiffanysb]

So i have a really big problem with being shy.
I'v been told by many girls that im good looking, but i can never seem to get a girlfriend.
I just started talking to an old friend again. Almost 3 years ago she told me she was attracted to me, but i wanted to be just friends.
We stopped talking for a while since we graduated and went to different schools, but the other day she sent me a message on facebook, and then one thing led to another and we began texting eachother.
Today she told me she wants me to come over some time next week so we can hangout alone at her house.
Does this sound like she might still be interested in me? I wouldnt mind becoming more than just friends with her now but im just very shy and dont know how to overcome it.
In this situation i should be feeling pretty confident, but im not.
I just dont want to look stupid, or say something stupid because i tend to studder or talk really low when im nervous.
How can i overcome this? I know i have to do it sometime, and its better to do it now when im young.

[boatergirl89]

It definitely seems like she's interested in getting to know you again, so if you're interested in getting to know her also, you might as well go ahead and hang out with her. As far as getting over being shy, it's hard to give advice about that. I used to be pretty shy -- but then I thought to myself, "you know what? this person is no better than me...or isn't 'above' me in any way....they are just like me". You just need to be yourself...and be confident in who you are. Try keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to...it might seem awkward at first, but soon enough it will make the conversation so much more relaxed. and know that they are going to feel more comfortable also if you're comfortable...and the interaction will probably be much more successful and fruitful.

[tiffanysb]

Thanks boatergirl.
i have tried to think like that before, and it does work.
As for the eye contact tip, i will try my best to keep eye contact with her, hopefully if shes not that shy it shouldnt go too bad.
Is being shy overcome-able though?
I feel like im less shy than i used to be.
I remember when i never really tried to talk, and i would always just be quiet.
Now i find myself trying to make conversation, but how can i completely overcome this?
I'm a pretty cool guy if i get to know the person, but if im not that comfortable with the person i wont be myself.

[boatergirl89]

Thats great that you feel less shy than you used to be -- it just takes time and practice I think --- and also, when you're comfortable enough with someone, not feeling like you want to be shy should just come naturally. But getting to that point of feeling comfortable enough with someone might take a little extra effort to not be super shy...and all you can do is hope that it will be worth it. And no matter what, you learn from everything, so by trying different ways of being a little more outgoing you'll learn what works for you and then it'll just begin to come naturally : )

[Rich]

I used to be reallyshy/unconfident. You can get over this 100%
Here are a few things that helped me:

1. Change your mind set; assume people want to talk to you and be around you (you said yourself your a pretty cool guy). When you talk to someone, always try to leave them feeling better than you found them. If they dont want to talk or chill out with you, then its their loss and you shouldnt worry about it for 1 second.

2. When your walking down the street, just say smile and say hi to people as you go past them.
2a. Basically do the same thing, but try to maintain eye contact with someone across the room with you (important you smile though so you dont look creepy...and definatly dont do a manic smile....I speak from experience lmao)

3. If you feel up to it, banter with ANYONE you get chance to. If your waiting in a line for something, like at the supermarket, or at the bank, just strike up an conversation with the person next to you. Have a laugh with them, you'll make both you and the other person feel happy. And like I said at the start, ther will be a minority of people that dont wanna chat (and this really will be a minority) but dont waste a second of time worrying about people that are off with you, because its their loss.

After doing this for a bit, you'll feel alot more confident in pretty much every aspect. You'll feel better about starting conversations, you'll feel more confident in your ability to make people laugh. You'll just feel a whole lot better.

Hope this has helped, its just what I did to become more confident. I do it now without thinking, my friends always have a laugh, because I'm always going and chatting to people (and girls included here lol, yes, getting dates will become easier lol) and making friends with random people.

Hope you have success and hope this has helped a bit.
Regards,
Rich

[erik]

socializing is like lifting weights, the more you do and the harder you try, the better you get at it and the more it shows. Trust me

[tiffanysb]

socializing is like lifting weights, the more you do and the harder you try, the better you get at it and the more it shows. Trust me

well put.
thanks for the tips guys.