Relationship advice from girls

[Revikan]

Alright I'll try to keep it as short and compact as I can. Jan 2008, I was starting 2nd semester of my senior year of high school. I recently broke up with a gf that I had been dating for a year. I met this girl, she was 16, I was 18, and we started dating in Jan 08. We've had a constant relationship up until now, having a short break every once in a while.

I'm 21 she's 18 now, has just graduated high school, and is going away for college in August. Well for the past 6 months we have been off and on saying she wants a break to have space to grow and become an adult. She's never cheated, shes very down to earth, shes not into "partying" like a lot of girls are. I was her first. Well, my first guess is, well she wants to go date other guys, hence the break. That is not her intention, and I believe her. She told me last week she wants this summer to be her best, hanging out with her friends and family before she leaves.

I love her, and she says she loves me back, and I believe her. I can understand her wanting space, but idk. Wouldn't you want to spend time with your BF before you go away 200 miles away for college? She says she isnt looking for a new BF, she just wants space to become an adult. Call me paranoid, or not but I know she isnt talking to any guys so thats not what shes doing.

The problem is, I dont want to be on a break. I want us to be together. I'm not controlling, I dont tell her want she can or cannot do. If she wants to hang out with her friends I always let her. All we do is fight about this situation now. Yes I love her, but idk if I can just be on a break. Whats your advice guys? Let her have her space for how long, I dont know. I trust her but her just going away for college, although shes never cheated before, theres always that chance. I'd hate to break up completely and find out I've made a mistake. I was planning on trying to get engaged before all this happened, but shes says shes not ready for all that. Yes, shes still young, 18, but idk. Any advice or help is greatly appreciated I know it all comes down to how much I love her, but I just want to get some other views on the situation.

My biggest fear is she wants a break to just keep her options open, and she constantly denies this. She claims she just needs space to grow. I am willing to take a break to give her space to grow, but not for her to keep her options open.

Part of me just wants to try to forget her and move on but idk.

[girl68]

Just because you seem decent and a good guy, relationships CAN prevent growth. Let her do what she needs to do, if time away from you is what she needs to see if the relationship is stunting her growth. It may or may not have been and it doesn't really have much to do with you as a person as opposed to her in a relationship.

Be there for her as a friend as much or as little as she wants and give her the space she requests.

[lahnnabell]

As much as she tells you she doesn't want to date other guys, she probably does. I'm sorry if that fact hurts you, but it's pretty much the only reason people take breaks. Given how much freedom she has with you already, there's no reason she can't have a great summer AND be your girlfriend simultaneously.

She's very young still and I'm sure she wants to experience life some more without having to keep someone else in mind all the time. It sucks for you, yes, but everyone deserves to be a little bit selfish. At least she's been upfront with you about this (for the most part). But what good would it do if she told you she had guys chasing after her and that she wanted to date them? You'd be crushed, and upset.

HOWEVER. Do not let her do this back and forth crap. If she wants a break, give her a break. Don't let her suck you back in in a few weeks 'cause she's lonely or horny. We see it happen all the time on here. Girl/Guy wants a break to most likely date/sleep with other people, the other person ends up waiting around to see if they come back, the person does come back for a little while, then screws off again. Don't let her jerk you around. You are allowed to have standards too.

Calmly tell her that if she wants a break, then she can have one ('Cause you can't really tell her what to do anyway), but put your foot down. Tell her that you don't want to do this back and forth dance all summer. She's making a decision and she needs to stick to it. And I highly recommend you minimize contact, almost to nothing. Go out with friends, dive into your hobbies, pick up shifts at work. DO NOT PURSUE HER. It will only push her further away.

[Gigabitch]

It's not really a decision that takes two to make. if she wants to break up, she wants to break up.

None of this "break" crap. Either you're together or you aren't.