What do I do? Break up or Suck it up?

[countrygurl4567]

I do not mean to sound harsh or shallow but my boyfriend sucks at sex, foreplay, french kissing, or anything to do with sex. We have been together for 3 years (we have been engaged for a year) and at first I ignored it. Then, I tried guiding him while we had sex. Then, I decided to just talk to him about it. He was hurt and I apologized and just explained the areas he could get better at. He got over it and nothing changed. Now, I am to the point that I don't know whether or not to just give up. He is so bad that majority of the time he can not even find the correct hole. He sucks at kissing and foreplay. I normally have to just look at him to turn myself on cause him touching me does not help. What should I do?

[Spades_]

its time to ask yourself whether or not you can live without good sex, and be realistic about it

[SirWagginston]

What happens when you try to teach him? Is he just unwilling to put forth the effort to learn about your body?

[roy_delene]

It would depend on the sort of priority you give to sex. If its the most important thing in a relationship then maybe you should move one. But sex isn't everything,maybe there's more to this relationship than sex.

[vashti]

"till death do you part" is a long time to tolerate a bad sex life. You've made the effort, and he either is incapable or uninterested in fixing this. Now is the time to decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.

[Stefany]

Leave him. The sex is not everything in a relationship, and he is just too dumb to realize that.

[Incognito]

^^^ Did you even read the rest of the thread?

Anyway, sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it plays a vital role. There are plenty of examples on this forum of relationships that either suffer or end because of bad sex or no sex. Besides the bad sex I see a deeper concern here. He seems to be either unwilling to change/better himself sexually or is simply unconcerned with your needs. How many other areas of your relationship will the same situation play out once you are married? What if you want kids and he doesn't? What if you want your parents to move in and he doesn't? Chances are you'll get the same treatment you're getting in the bedroom right now, no effort and no concern.

[Kaius]

I was willing to tolerate bad sex because I thought I loved my ex-wife. It was so bad I don't even want to think about it. Makes me feel all depressed knowing how sexually incompatible we were, and I stuck around for 12 years.
People who are bad at sex should do something about it. Research....ask people....watch porn! Learning a partner is important. If your mate isn't interested in improving, that's a bad sign. Sex isn't everything...of course.
But it is a very important part of a committed relationship. This is where two people are most connected and vulnerable....at the same time, in the most pleasured and happy zone. I made the mistake of believing that sex
wasn't important. Was I wrong.

[Tedel]

its time to ask yourself whether or not you can live without good sex, and be realistic about it

I was about to say the same.

[rwoodham]

I couldnt live and be married with a girl who sucks as bad as you say he does at sex. I had a Girlfriend once that only wanted to have sex in the missonary position. After having sex just 3 times I gave up. I told her I refuse to not do something different. I like crazy sex in all different kinds of places and way. My craziest was sex in a BX(base exchange) on dressing room with my wife.

[VincenzoG91]

Dump this guy. Not because the sex is bad, but because he refuses to even try to get better. If the communication is that bad in the bedroom, it's going to be bad elsewhere when he doesn't feel like doing what you want. This guy will also prove smugly ignorant when you ask him to help with the dishes, laundry, changing diapers, etc. He is bad because he doesn't really care about you.

[pclepel]

Find an organization that can teach him how to have sex. Google Erwan Davon Teachings or something. He sounds like he's willing, he just doesn't know what he's doing.

Sex is just like anything else, a little bit of effort and education and you can get really really good.