So here it is...

[stabbingwest]

Spent some time just reading on here and now feel like I should post. Going to make a long story very short. Dated my first real gf for over 5 years. Near the end, we took a break as things were not going well. So after a few weeks or so I start txting, calling and annoying her to get her back. She wouldnt have any of it. Went another couple weeks without talking and got an engagement ring. Ive been holding out moving forward with her and was gonna finally take the step (This was the begging of the end). Like a respectable man, I went to her father for approval. He told me no. Had a long conversation with him and he told me to just go date other people, and me and him were close. This was a red flag I didnt realize at the time. She caught wind of the ring, and flat out told her friend that she wouldve said no. Soul Crush #1. Weeks went by no contact. Then the windfall. Everyone around me starting telling me what was actually going on through those 5 years. She was not over her ex and cheating on me with him throught the whole realtionship, trying to be with him. Soul Crush #2 Needless to say I lost it on her (NOT physically). Well months went by no contact (still couldnt get her out of my head) and went to a big party. At this party, ive been informed that my ex was also cheating on me with another who she is with now.Soul Crush #3. Needless to say ive broken all contact with her. But I am still madly in love with her. Im the most depressed ever. I treated her like a god and just still cant believe she did all this to me. Im the nicest guy anyone will ever meet and that personality is slowly going the opposite way as I am now trying to control my drinking problem. Just cant get her out of my head, shes been the only one to ever give a damn about me. What do I do????

[Cloud206]

Talk with your friends,join some online games,forums,gym, anything that can keep you busy and relaxed or just take your mind of this topic.It's gonna feel bad for some time but in the end you'll just give up.Besides if you trully love her and want her happy you'll let her go to be with whoever she wants.

[cmacattack1]

Nothing personal, but you have to accept some of the responsibility of this situation as well. You can't help how you feel, but you are in complete and utter control of your actions. So things weren't going too well so you decided to have a "break". For those that aren't experienced with this, a "break" is a nice way of saying you guys are breaking up. It sounds like she wanted the "break" and you fell into the trap of clinging to her and hoping it would work things out. She wanted the "break" because she wanted to go out and explore her options while keeping you hooked. Even if it annoyed her to hear you text and call her, she enjoyed the attention. It was an ego boost for her.

So things weren't going well, she didn't want to even speak to you....and you got an engagement ring? Honestly, what could that have truly accomplished? You get an engagement ring when things are going so well together and you are growing together every day to the point where you both don't want to spend your life with anybody else. However, it's a two way street, and it's not a smart move if she wants a "break" from you. I think if she said yes, you would have regretted it anyway. It was a relationship based on a broken foundation. I think you wanted to believe that you could fix things magically, but there is no magical or quick fix. Dating somebody else right away wouldn't fix things for you either, although her dad told you otherwise.

All you can do is take this loneliness like a man and trudge on without her in your life. You are madly in love with her, but a proper question for you to answer would be: Why? Are you in love with who she WAS? The person that you dated for 5 years before things went bad? Because regardless of how it was then, that is not how it is now. She is not that same person. She is downright nasty to you. Maybe you feel like a failure and you deserved it, and maybe you did, but the fact of the matter is being with her right now would not make you happy. It would take away the pangs of loneliness and desperation briefly, but when you discovered that she doesn't really care about you like she used to, you would be hurt even more. Hammer that into your head that you guys could not be together logically right now anyway. Do as cloud said above, and work on living your life without her. Once you can finally achieve happiness on your own, you will realize that you don't need her in your life and your confidence will attract somebody else that is new fun and exciting. Don't be afraid of what else is out there, and remember that everything will be alright.

You can't make yourself stop thinking about her and you will. All you can do is keep busy and get yourself through every single day without contacting her or talking to her or doing anything involving her. It's tough at first, but when you get her out of your system, everything will be easier.

[drdamian]

well its time to move on man...sorry to say this but that girl hurt you so much its not worth thinking about her and the past...you could start by spending more times with family and friends...go on a trip...try out some sport or get a job even! just keep yourself and mind occupied and little by little you will be able to look back on this incident with little pain! Good Luck!

[(will)]

You don't do anything. That girl is a B.I.T.C.H.

Keep replaying that sentence in your head and

you'll feel better.

[oneandonly]

........ shes been the only one to ever give a damn about me. What do I do????

I'm sorry but think again. Do you really think her behavior appeared she gave a damn about you? If she did, you wouldn't be hearing all that stuff she did behind your back. I am actually happy for you that she didn't accept your proposal. What a deceiving life you'd have ahead! You had a lucky escape. It's time to detox. From her. From companionship. From codependency you grew to get used to. From the elusive love you thought you had towards her. It takes a tremendous effort. You need to make a conscious effort cos nobody can do that for you.

Lots of people share your pain but we also know all those memories will eventually fade. When you look back, the last thing you want is regretting that you have not looked after yourself, your career and your life over someone who was so disrespectful and didn't deserve you.