bf hd slept wid 1st cousin,n now alwys wid hr..help

[elizaa]

bf hd slept wid 1st cousin,n now alwys wid hr..help
My boyfriend has slept with his first cousin, and is now always with her, help!


My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 year. We went to the same high school, and now are in the same college. This is probably our first serious relationship. Anyways, after a few months into our relationship, while discussing our past, he told me he had kissed his cousin (who is 3 years older) several times, and even had sex once after they got drunk from some party (he was around 14 years old.) His parents weren’t home, his so called cousins this hot 24 year old famous salsa dancer. She usually always tours around.’Shes not close with most of their family.But they have been real close friends since childhood.

I found this terribly repulsive at first, and then decided to forgive him, mostly because he was honest and he felt guilty l. I told him that’s fine, but I can’t somehow ever forgive her, so I told him to stay away from his cousin as much as he could. I know the next two and a half years he did exactly that even though that girl used to message and call him all the time.

But then later his sisters wedding came up, and all the cousins got together for around 2 months for this huge wedding, and I guess he felt sorry for her or something (she had this terrible childhood), and they went back to being real good friends. Though I was frustrated.I ignored it then because she her work takes her around the globe and lives in either Dubai or Brazil and is never home.

We have a holiday now, hes been really busy with his family stuff, and we have just gone out a 2 times over the last 2 months, but we talk on the phone for 1- 2 hours (nothing compared to the usual 5 to 6 hours). Yesterday he told me hes going to pick up his cousin from the airport, and that shes going to be living with his family for the next month. I got really angry, asked if there was no way he could ask her to stay with some other relatives, but he got really mad and told me that its not possible because after all they are family and his parents wouldn’t agree. And he cant completely ignore her just because I seem to have some childish needs. He told me he loves me and should never feel threantened or anything. Its just his past and hes already forgotten it, and he told me to get over it too. I requested him to at least stop hanging out with her and mingling with her, we got into a fight (no shit again…), and I called her a slut.n stripper and stuff. He told me I was being filthy and hung up on me. Later he messaged me twice, he just called me for a minute today to find out about some assignment for college.

This is my first time hes completely ignoring me for a full day . We always patch up real fast and I think he doesn’t love me any more. This whole issue along with my complaings of him not giving me enough time to meet up etc… I think hs bugged, I don’t know what to do. I love him, I know he does too, but I am confused now… its Just he is always with his family now(Not just his close family, but his extended family too). He had always been a family guy, but not this much…

I feel stupid, and don’t know what to do. I want him to love me like before, I hate his stupid insensitive cousin, she knows all this and is still not moving away from our life.

What should I do?

[the_robot]

You "shud" get a spellchecker and type correctly.

[elizaa]

You "shud" get a spellchecker and type correctly.

its late here...frustrated,angry,sad...wanted to do this fast..hope its legible

[the_robot]

its late here...frustrated,angry,sad...wanted to do this fast..hope its legible

If you type like that, people from non-english-speaking countries will have a hard time understanding it because we are not used to that slang, and people who do understand it won't even bother trying to decipher the message and won't help you.

And Specially if you are frustrated and angry, you should take your time to think what you are typing, that way you won't regret anything you may have said.

[qwertz]

its late here...frustrated,angry,sad...wanted to do this fast..hope its legible

And that makes you type like a moron? Its not legible, if you want your post answered you will have to type in english language, its not hard to avoid 'text speak' in a post. This is a forum not a text message, i bet its not even quicker to type like that than it is to spell correctly. Almost as irritating as people who write 'kewl' ..yeh, cause that works.

[Kaius]

wait is it legal to sleep with 1st cousins? Genetically speaking, it's very bad to breed with such a close relative.

[elizaa]

i edited it.I hope someone can help now.
I dont know whether its legal or not.He was 14 and she 18 at that time.Its disgusting and disturbing.

She is always like this poor damsel in distress.Trying to get his attention.I think her childhood issues have turned her into some sex addict.She has a different bf every 2 weeks.When i bring it up with my bf,he says its her personal choice and why should we bother.I agree with him,but i don't think i would want her messing with my guy.

[hello1]

Do you want this hassle? she is family and he slept with family. Ewww. Your worried your b/f going to sleep again with his family member. Its sick and you should just leave him as its sad to be worried about this kind of problem!

[xxazurexx]

Actually I think it is legal to sleep with cousins and also legal to marry them. Sleeping with my cousin would be akin to sleeping with my brother....no thanks!!!

People from differing nationalities marry their cousins via arranged marriages. Is he from a different nationality?

Regardless and whoever he's sleeping with, he's cheated on you and it's possible he's still cheating on you.

it's wrong and it's down to you how you choose to deal and if you want to remain with this cheater, so he can cheat on you some more....or leave him.