Relationship problem

[sweetpea10]

I’m in a long distance relationship (living two hours apart). Been dating my current bf for the last 6months but only been going out together for the last two/three months. I'm in my early 20's but this is my first boyfriend and also my first relationship and I'm also still a virgin. We only get to see each other at weekends and sometimes for just one day at weekends but we talk constantly during the week.

He wants to go to a comedy gig to see a comedian he likes. He asked me about 5months to go to one of these gigs with him, would have been one of our first dates but I couldn't go that night. About a month ago I mentioned this comedian is playing in a city about 3hours away from both of us and I suggested we go to see him on the Friday night when he's playing and make a weekend out of it.

So the weekend in question is next weekend, my bf booked the Friday off work to go down a while back so we can have 3day weekend. We never really spoke about the coming weekend until a few days ago and now it turns out that he has a rugby match to attend on Saturday evening, which means we will be leaving to go down to the city on Friday afternoon go to the gig that night and come back home early Saturday morning for him to make his match. The comedian's playing over the next two weekends but he cant go next weekend because he's going to a concert next weekend and I have a friend's batchellorette party the following weekend so I'm not around then and after those weekends the comedian does not have any gigs scheduled until late Autumn! Now I know he's wanted to go see him for ages and I know I made the initial suggestion to go see him in the other city and have a break together (would be our first time away together) but if I'm being honest, I don't want to go now. Its just having to go down and then come home the next day would be too rushed I think, plus I'm not sure I'm actually ready to spend the night with him, even if I don't actually sleep with him. So I've suggested that I go up to him for the weekend instead but he doesn’t seem too keen on that and I know he wants still go to the gig. Problem is I’ve let him down on few occasions before, saying I’d go to stuff and then when the time comes around not going with him for one reason or another and I’d say he’s like oh here we go again she’s letting me down yet again.

So he's cancelled the tickets and I told him I'm really sorry etc but I know he's till upset over it.

What can I do??

[cmacattack1]

Make future plans and stick to them. You both had stuff to do as he sprung the rugby match on you with relatively little notice. Or you could tell him to keep a weekend clear in the future and then take him to do something and surprise him by planning everything for him already without his knowledge. You have been dating him long enough to know what he likes and doesn't like, what he does or haven't done before. So this weekend has been goofed up but it's not the end of the world. Plans change, shit happens but as long as you and him are both working on keeping you guys on track and spending quality time together, you shouldn't have too much to worry about.

[sweetpea10]

Thanks for your reply. So we discussed this at length with my bf lastnight and he said he was vexed over me not wanting to go away for weekend, that the travelling down and back wasn't an issue for him but that I am just using it as an excuse to get out of having to go.

Should I just back down and go for the weekend??????

[lahnnabell]

Have you addressed the issue of your not being comfortable spending the night with him? Work on practicing good communication, or this relationship will fail regardless.