truth when drinking?

[brydz]

Okay so me and my mate have been having a frequent casual sexual relationship for around 12-15 months. We hang in the same group of friends, but are not particularly close and personal in the friendship stakes (he is a very tough, blokey type of bloke who doesn't really show much emotion or sensitivity in his day to day life).

In the beginning i really had an interest in pursuing a relationship with him, but he claimed he only wanted to be friends with benefits.

I have been intimate with ONE other person (a one night stand) during the entire time. I'm not sure if he has been intimate with anyone else, I suspect probably, but I know he has not on any occasion where the two of us have been hanging out together.

So on the weekend, after not speaking for 3 months, we caught up and made up for not talking and ended up straight back where we left off.

He talks really sweet and sensitive when we are alone together, he gives lots of cuddles and emotionally seems like he is more than just physically attached.

In day to day life he tells his mates the total opposite. He acts like he doesn't want anything to do with me, tries to keep me from telling anyone about us.

THE COMPLICATED PART:
I am 6 months pregnant. The father of the baby is from the previously mentioned one night stand. It was a big oops. In the beginning i thought there was a small chance my mate was the father, but going off dates there is no way possible.
He reacted by telling me i was stupid for keeping it and said I should get an abortion. Then when i was bout 8 weeks, and 9 weeks along we were intimate again. He was the opposite, he told me he'd be happy to be like an uncle/role model to my child and he knows its not his but he wouldn't mind if it were. He offered to help me out by tracking down the father (who was avoiding me at all costs).

A week or two later, we stopped speaking because he abused me, calling me a s*t and saying that i shouldn't sleep around etc. and just being really nasty. It came across like he was mad i got pregnant to somebody else.

Now after not speaking for 3 months, we saw each other once and ended up back where we were...... He was very sweet offering to help out any way he can while i'm pregnant and even joked about coming to be there at the birth. He was excited that i'm having a boy because he can play some sort of role in his life. He cuddled me and was excited to feel the baby kicking him, he tickled and poked at my belly and then of course we were intimate once again.
The next morning he told everyone he didn't get much sleep because i kept him awake talking about the baby kicking.

If he only wants sex why go for someone 6 months pregnant? He has enough charm to get it somewhere else....

Its like 2 completely different people. One is tough and macho. One is sweet and sensitive.

How do i know what he really thinks? is he really pretending to be tough to not upset the boys (and pretending to not like me because some of them don't get along with me so well and would probably make fun of him)..?
Or is he using me really well with all this sweet talk and stuff when we get together?

[wuballz]

I think he is just being tough around the boys. I do the same in a casual relationship or a new relationship. With both relationships,i don't want to appear to be weak in front of the guys. After the relationship is serious i can let the guys know how i really feel , but when its casual or new,I don't want the guys to think i could be head over heels over "friend with benefits" or some girl i just met.

[Gigabitch]

Whatever his reasons are for speaking to you like that, it's unacceptable. Why are you accepting it?

[hurt_confuzd]

Its like 2 completely different people. One is tough and macho. One is sweet and sensitive.

That's because he's a seductive genius and wants to continue having sex with you.

By the way, you're a complete moron for keeping a child that resulted from a one-night stand. Are you retarded?

I love you so much, baby.

[qwertz]

You should put number one first..ie, you! Dont sleep with him again, dont expect anything from him and dont let him talk to/about you like he does.

[qwertz]

That's because he's a seductive genius and wants to continue having sex with you.

By the way, you're a complete moron for keeping a child that resulted from a one-night stand. Are you retarded?

I love you so much.

Why? because its not what you would do? It is her body, she has the choice whether or not to bring a child into this world, everybodies circumstances are different, and if she can provide what the baby needs then what business is it of yours?

[brydz]

Okay so I'm not sure why you would have thought I wanted advice/bagging out about keeping my baby....... That is totally irrelevant and I can't be bothered discussing it with an immature twit like you.


Thanks qwerty for your reply. I just sent the guy a text saying that i've seriously decided i can't do anything sexual with him any more, its making my head spin and my life is already complicated enough at this point (obviously). I told him not to get mad and to just understand and he said 'thats ok, don't worry'.



The thing is, maybe its just me being a girl that imagines things, i don't know. I DO KNOW that yes whilst i have sexual/physical needs and am happy to have them satisfied, i also have emotional needs. And i need it from someone constantly, it needs to be stable, i can't deal with him being all sweet and caring for short bursts of time. It makes my head go round in circles. I need someone who will care about me and love me full time.

[xxazurexx]

By the way, you're a complete moron for keeping a child that resulted from a one-night stand. Are you retarded?

.

I think this is OP's business and what she decided to do about baby. These things happen and not everyone is pro termination.

I'm gonna go with qwerty anyway. Put yourself and baby first.

I'm unsure I'd have this guy around and in my life.

[hurt_confuzd]

Had any of you illiterate toolsheds decided to read the last sentence in my post, you'd see the clever irony and the genius behind my post.