I think I did the right thing!

[elrod071]

It's been on and off now for two years with my girlfriend. Her kids have horrible bahavior problems. Counseling has been going on for five months and no results. I've had to leave several times in the past two years due to the problems it has generated between us.

We took a month off from seeing eachother. I went over and spent the weekend. We take the kids to the park. The oldest, almost 9 was sitting backwards on one of the animal rides. His mother told him five times to turn around and he just turned it into a power struggle. He has defiant behavior, doesn't like to be told what to do. He's 9 and thinks he's 30, but acts like he's 5. So then, he gets mad and starts shoving the animal ride he was on out of anger. Then he runs up behind his mother and shoves her! I'm thinking to myself, if he gets this mad over something this stupid at 9yrs., what is it going to turn into when he's 15 and someone or something really makes him mad? The mother said, get your ass in the car and you are in bed for the rest of the night when we get home, then we left for the supermarket to get a few things.

At the store, we get out of the car and he turns on the waterworks thinking that it would cancel out the early bedtime. At tactic he often uses on her. She told him that she forgave him but he was still going to bed when we got home. He then got angry again, dropped his gatorade on the ground, kicks it, and it goes rolling across the parking lot. Mother tells him to go get it. No he said. So she goes and gets it. Then we get up to the shopping carts. His 3 yr old brother gets into the cart. Then he tries to and his mom said no, you can walk. He said, fine i'm staying right here. We walked about 80 feet to the main door, looked back, he was still in the same spot. His mom went back to get him.

Towards the end of shopping, he had aske for some icre cream out of the store freezer. The mother said ok. We stood there for about 3 minutes waiting for "your hinus" to decide what he wanted. At that point, I was like, screw this! The kids acts the way he did and now we're waiting on him for this! I just started walking towards the cash register.

We get home, she is cooking dinner. He's out on the couch sucking down yogurt treats watching cartoons until dinner is ready! I said to her about it. She got pissy and said, he's going to bed after dinner.

I did end up leaving the next day, which i can go into later. My point is that life is too short to stay with someone who you love when two kids made life complete hell for the two years i've been with her.

This has been an ongoing problem for six years for the oldest child. I used to live next to the Grandparents, that's why i know it's been going on for a long time. Their mom has a new excuse for his rotten behavior. The excuse is that he doesn't want me in the picture and knows from past experience that if he's bad enough, I will leave because i can't stand it. Whatever! He's always been like this.

They are very strong willed, nobody tells them what to do, they tell other person what to do, mean to animals, loud, screaming,slamming doors, demanding, disresprectful, no fear of adults type of kids and I can't see it ever changing. So I think that i did the right thing for my sanity by leaving her.....

[vashti]

It's been on and off now for two years with my girlfriend. Her kids have horrible bahavior problems. Counseling has been going on for five months and no results. I've had to leave several times in the past two years due to the problems it has generated between us.

We took a month off from seeing eachother. I went over and spent the weekend. We take the kids to the park. The oldest, almost 9 was sitting backwards on one of the animal rides. His mother told him five times to turn around and he just turned it into a power struggle.

What a stupid thing to battle over. She should have just let him fall (or not). Haven't you ever heard about natural consequences? In fact, every single thing you complained about sounds like typical child behavior that was handled poorly.

It's good for everyone you two broke up. You suck at being a grown up.

[elrod071]

Fall? what are you talking about? and for his behavior....i guess i did a poor job of painting the picture. it's not typical, not that you trust me, because you don't by your tone you use when you reply to my stuff. I wish you could spend two days with those kids, then you'd not be telling me it's typical, even though it sounds typical to you i guess. Yelling at, being disrespected, slamming doors, rages, hurting animals, thinking we are equal to adults and talk how we want to, and having power struggles with a 9 and 3 yr old 24/7/365 is not typical sweet cheeks! I'm not sure what plannet you came from, but please go back. Your responses are non productive and no help. Seems to me you are seeking confrontation,ect. I'd prefer if you just not reply to my stuff anymore. I'm looking for help on here. You are not helpful, just a pain in the butt with your nonsense. Let me alone....

[elrod071]

ok thanks digsnz......your help is appreciated and your answers also. thanks very much....