Understanding a Shy Girl

[AMFS]

Hey,

My situation revolves around trying to understand the motives of a shy girl that I find myself liking more and more. I only see her once a week, but that's enough to keep her in my head, and constantly think about her. Naturally, I want a relationship with her, but, being the person that I am, want to know if she likes me back, before making a move.

After some research into signs of attraction, I've recalled her doing multiple signs that have led me to believe that she likes me back. Things such as:
- She constantly glances in my direction, although always averts her eyes as soon as she sees me looking back.
- She smiles a lot whenever I talk to her, and sometimes laughs at things that I say that aren't funny.
- She usually plays with her hair and neck when she talks to me.
All of these are signs of attraction according to multiple sources, and so you may be thinking, "What's the problem here? You like her. She likes you. Just go for it dude!". I was too, until recent events left me doubting.

A week ago, I noticed her showing exactly the same signs of attraction that she shows to me, to another guy (I'll refer to him as "Joe" from now on - although that isn't his real name). You may wonder, "Does she do this to every guy?", and the answer is no. There are several other guys she could do this to, but I haven't noticed her doing it to them. Just me and Joe.

So now I'm left wondering:
- Who does she like best?
- Can she not decide?
- Does she even like me any more?

You may be thinking that me and Joe are similar, in terms of persona. But we're not.
- Joe can be described almost like an 'Alpha-male'. Always the one talking, telling anecdotes that are exaggerated, gaining the attention of multiple people, showing off almost.
- I however, am more of the 'Nice Guy' type. Generally quite shy and reserved, but happy to help others if needed. Some people would probably call me a 'Nerd' I guess. I'm generally more academic and intelligent than most, and definitely more than Joe.

Age is also something that should probably be considered. I am the oldest of us three (Me, her and Joe) at 16, she is 14 almost 15 I believe, and Joe I estimate to be 13 almost 14.

So as you can see, there is quite a contrast between me and Joe, but she isn't making it clear if which of us she likes more, if any. I've heard girls are supposed to like mature, older guys, which is in my favour, but then I've also heard girls are supposed to like the 'alpha-male' type more than the 'nice guy', which is in Joe's favour. On another hand, I don't even know that Joe's interested in her. For all I know, he's got a girlfriend, and just happens to be unintentionally attracting her when he doesn't need to.

I guess the main advice I'm trying to gain from posting this is what people think I should do next. Should I:
- Leave things as they are? She'll make up her mind in her own time.
- Try and compete with Joe? That week I already found myself trying to be more talkative, but should I take this to the next level and rival Joe? (in terms of being less shy, and more outgoing and 'alpha-male-ish').
- Make a move on her now, and show her that I'm interested? I would find this difficult with Joe usually being around, and making things awkward. However, if successful, it will (hopefully) get rid of the threat of Joe.
- Do something else that I haven't considered?

So yea, that's my situation. I'm hoping that typing all my thoughts out like this is worth it, and I gain at least something from it.

Thanks in advance for any advice given.

[Natlee]

You could leave it and see but what if joe gets her and you don't when you never even tried, would you be ok with that? If she does like you both then beat joe to it so she knows you are definately interested.

[amb5059]

Get your butt in gear and ask her out on a date! What are you waiting for? Cowards finish last always!