Glad to see you are still kicking it Christian.
I'm surprised you are still asking yourself these questions. It doesn't matter whether you deserved it or not, it doesn't change the result one bit. Sure you made mistakes, and you can learn from those. Sure you tolerated some of her shit that you shouldn't have, you can learn from that too. All you have is you right now, and you have to push yourself to keep moving forward. We all miss our exes, we all have hit those highs and lows, it's how you deal with them that says alot about your character and how you are. If you can't deal, you are just this sniveling little urchin. I've split with my ex about the same time you have, and you've actually been in more relationships and probably have had more sex than me. So what's there to complain about?
You say you don't know why you split up with her. You do know why, because you aren't a happy individual. You will continue to self destruct each and every relationship you are in here on out because you aren't happy with yourself, you aren't putting to rest what has happened, you haven't achieved any mental stability and come to peace with the facts that are in front of you, and as long as you hold her high on that pedestal, no girl is going to compare to her. She treated you like garbage, and yet you want to worship her?
Waking up next to a beautiful girl,
Step outside and say hello to my beautiful world.