Hey I've been with my bf for a year now and we see each other for a fortnight every month and a half, we chat every evening but I have found myself becoming more and more unattracted to my bf with each visit. Last time he came we didn't even have sex. I'm a city girl and he's the country boy - so naive it makes me feel disgusted as if I was dating a child. It is his mothers fault, she has encouraged him to play online games and although they are financially well off he's never had a job. Since meeting me he's starting learning how to drive, got a job and considering applying to become a police officer and because I was recently made unemployed he's been making most of the travels over to me. He adores me with such passion because "I am smart and interesting" compared to his other exes.
But listen. The more I've gone off sex I realized that it was only ME instigating it. I had vaginismus a few years back which, with therapy, I managed to over come by myself. But everything has come back with the stress of realizing that it was only ever me starting foreplay. He was here last week so I decided to not instigate for once. Guess what, the whole time he was here he didn't even try to kiss me! I got undressed and slept naked - nope, NOTHING. Then suddenly I get angry about it and we talked - he tells me that he was sexually abused by his sister when he was younger but he is over it and cant see how that would affect him sexually. He also said that all his exes only ever instigated sex too but most of them eventually cheated I told him I felt unattractive and that its hard to feel sexually motivated towards someone who makes zero effort.
He is very sweet and in the beginning I was in love with him and then I got to know him. He makes so much effort for me everywhere apart from the sexual and emotional department. I feel dead inside but I understand that he is naive due to his protective upbringing and that maybe things will change, he will mature, so that I shouldn't give up. I would love to hear some other people who have been in a similiar position. I owe him a hella lot for his effort, but despite his hard working effort I'm not satisfied...