Said something i shouldn't have...

[FullofSighs]

Well i ****ed up... last night my girlfriend heather and I were talking on the phone. She had said something flirty and teasing (something about her staying at a friends house and kissing) my response was i better be the only one you wanna be with and kiss. She told me "I have been waiting for you to say something like that."

So later on that night i was trying to say something like that again to be flirty, cant remember what she said but my response was something like " well maybe i'll just find someone else to satisfy my needs", not really meaning it of course just trying to be flirty but today she started thinking about it, thinking it was really true so now she is hurt about it.

A little behind the scenes story...
She is really worried that im just gunna up a leave for someone else because it is kinda a long distance thing, the town she lives in is about half an hour to an hour drive away,(which i don't mind driving it at all) and that i can find someone else who is prettier and what not. So when she started thinking about what i had said it made her worry about that even more.

So the advice i need is, what can i do or say or both that will show her i won't do that to her. I love her to much

[sultan_of_swing]

Hi,

have you already told her that you actually meant her when you said you were going to look for somebody to satisfy your needs? If not, I'd recommend you did that! And tell her you love her! When are you gonna see her next? You shouldn't let her wait (and ultimately worry) for too long. Surpirse her .

Good luck,
Nicco

[FullofSighs]

unfortunately we havnt got to the point where i meet her parents so i don't know exactly where she lives... but everything else you said i did.

[QueenofCorona]

Just be honest and tell her, "I'm sorry for being such a retarded guy. I did not mean what I said at all. I'm a man and don't think before I talk. You are the only one I want to be with."

Bam.

[xxazurexx]

She is insecure, which is why she took it the wrong way. To her, it would have come across that you would discard her and could easily replace her with some other female, if she doesn't meet up to your expectations. She will be thinking that you can't be all that interested in her and for you to have thoughts in your head about getting involved elsewhere.

Joking or not, you would be wise not to make comments that involve your going off with other females again. When we are involved with a guy, we like to think and feel that we are the 'only' woman in his life and that his mind is focused 100% on us, not on how many other women are available to him out there.

How do you make it up to her? Tell her that you were joking, that you regret saying it, it won't and will never happen again and that 'she' is the only girl you are interested in.

[Gigabitch]

Dork. You have a terrible case of manthrax. You know, foot-in-mouth disease.

Buy her some flowers and apologize. Tell her you've been worried that she took you seriously and assure her that she's the one for you.

[doppelgaenger]

I don't get it. She made the same stupid joke, and when he does it, his ass gets burned? I don't think he has his foot in his mouth.

[VincenzoG91]

If I understood the original post correctly, she was okay when she was joking about spending the night at a friend's house and kissing the friend, but when you reacted with jealousy she was dismissive. But then when you later make a joke about hooking up with somebody else, she gets jealous and insecure and you're in trouble? I think that she's a hypocrite. Maybe she's insecure, but plenty of insecure people cheat because they aren't too particular about who they seek reassurance from. Factor in that this is sort of a long-distance relationship and it looks like this might not work out for you two. Talk it over with her. If she can't handle that kind of joke, than she shouldn't make that kind of joke either. Figure out some boundaries that you two are comfortable with and go from there.

[Gigabitch]

I think he should lead by example.

[l337acc]

If I understood the original post correctly, she was okay when she was joking about spending the night at a friend's house and kissing the friend, but when you reacted with jealousy she was dismissive. But then when you later make a joke about hooking up with somebody else, she gets jealous and insecure and you're in trouble? I think that she's a hypocrite. Maybe she's insecure, but plenty of insecure people cheat because they aren't too particular about who they seek reassurance from. Factor in that this is sort of a long-distance relationship and it looks like this might not work out for you two. Talk it over with her. If she can't handle that kind of joke, than she shouldn't make that kind of joke either. Figure out some boundaries that you two are comfortable with and go from there.

^^ This

However, I do recommend that you tell her what you said in the original post almost verbatim. I.e. say this: "I didn't really think before I said that. I was just trying to be flirty based on your response of me saying "I better be the only one you wanna be with and kiss" and was trying to mimic my "success" and failed this time"

Oh yeah, and that "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

[VincenzoG91]

I think he should lead by example.

She started it, and he was just trying to play along.

[QueenofCorona]

A girl teasing about making out with her girlfriend is different than him threatening to find some random girl to hook up with. She was probably trying to be sexy to him, the whole girls making out with other girls brewhaha appeal.

[VincenzoG91]

Your assumption is probably correct, but the initial post didn't specify the gender of the friend.

[alovehangoverr]

Yeahhhh.. I can see the double standard issue here.. so, it's time to have a serious talk with her.

Apologize to her for what you said & explain to her that while you understand why she wasn't ok with what you said, you're also not ok with her making comments like that. It's gotta go both ways.

But yeah.. if I were you? I'd seriously steer clear of saying anything like that again. Last time a guy said that to me, I told him "good luck with that" & left. Guy was shady as all get out, but that's besides the point.. making jokes about being with other people isn't an attractive quality in anyone.

[FullofSighs]

Thanks for all the replies guys, and everything you said is technically right. I should lead by example, i didn't think before i said it, yes i was trying to mimic a situation i did take it a little far that time. So in the end the way i see it, i screwed up more than she did. And i took full responsibility of it and talked to her about keeping in mind all the advice given to me, she forgave me and understood the situation so thanks guys and gals.