Not sure how to approach this one!

[qwertz]

Well I've been seeing a guy for a short while now, things are going really great but something he said yesterday really bothered me.

Previously in conversation he has mentioned his ex(they are still friends), now as far as i know she was a relatively short term thing, maybe even more of a fwb kind of thing, but i dont know properly as we (rightly) dont talk about exes much!

The thing is, he said yesterday that next week he is gonna book a sports massage with his sports therapist(he injured his back and groin)... not a problem, except i know that his ex is a sports therapist and i also know that she is the one that usually does his treatments..though i happen to know he hasnt had any since they split up.

If it is her that is going to be doing the massage then it bothers me..alot! And i think rightly so?? But im not even sure how i even bring up the subject of asking who is doing it, or even if i should.

hummmmmmmmm.

[vashti]

An ex massaging his groin?

Eek! I am stumped, too.

[qwertz]

Lol i know!

But i dont actually know whether it is his ex he will be using....thats what i want to find out, but i think just asking him straight maybe wouldnt be the way to go about it.

[xxazurexx]

Then if you don't ask him, you won't know if she does it or not.

I'd ask, but then I'm just that type to ask. But I'd approach it jokingly.

[xxazurexx]

Maybe call the centre where he gets it done and pretend you want an appointment that day and ask who the appointment would be with...or specify an appointment with her. That would let you know if she was working that day or not. lol

[QueenofCorona]

You'd think it would be awkward for BOTH them if he went to her, but thats just me.

I guess maybe ask afterwards if the massage seemed to help at all and if the massage giver seemed to do an adequate job?

[qwertz]

Hmmm, i dont know, normally i would just ask, i cant ring as im not sure where she works. I dont think i can leave it til afterwards, cause if i then find out it was her i will get the serious hump!

Looks like i will have to make a joke out of it somehow...but then what do i do if i find out it is her?!!!! Do i ask him not to? just suck it up?

Omg, i think i am jealous!!!

[vashti]

Approaching it laughingly is probably the best way, and if he says she IS doing it, then maybe you can just laugh, and say "oh my god, I can't believe I am actually jealous".

[VisualAid]

I agree with Vashti. Though I can say that I used to live in a house with 5 licensed massage therapists. It's hard to find someone who really knows what they're doing. Even though none of us are on speaking terms anymore, if I had to have some sort of massage therapy done I'd still go to them. If you really like the guy be honest with him. Tell him you understand it's got to be done but maybe if he could get a referral from her to go to someone else next time. She should totally understand (he should too)

[alovehangoverr]

If I were you, I'd just flat out ask him if he's going to her for the massage.

If it's something that really bothers you, I'd go against what other people have posted about "making a joke about it." If you do that, he's not going to know that it's something that seriously bothers you.. especially if you're laughing it off. If it were me, I'd tell him I'm not comfortable with someone he used to hook up with putting her hands on him (especially in that area haha) -- for medical reasons or not.

[qwertz]

Uggggghhhh, i still havent managed to ask him. He hasnt brought the subject up again, ive been trying to fit it in somewhere but it hasnt happened. Im hoping he brings it up in the next day or two, as he has leave booked at work from weds, so hopefully he will mention it. Its driving me crazy!

[Charlie Boy II]

for god's sake just ask him, "you know the other day you said..." you won't sound crazy

[vashti]

Uggggghhhh, i still havent managed to ask him. He hasnt brought the subject up again, ive been trying to fit it in somewhere but it hasnt happened. Im hoping he brings it up in the next day or two, as he has leave booked at work from weds, so hopefully he will mention it. Its driving me crazy!

You could just "forget" that he has plans that day, and ask him what he's doing....

[alovehangoverr]

Uggggghhhh, i still havent managed to ask him. He hasnt brought the subject up again, ive been trying to fit it in somewhere but it hasnt happened. Im hoping he brings it up in the next day or two, as he has leave booked at work from weds, so hopefully he will mention it. Its driving me crazy!

Grow a backbone & bring it up. I'm not sure why you're relying on him to open up the subject. YOU are the one with the issue with it, it's up to YOU to bring it to his attention.