Following your instinct

[EnjoyingLife]

Hi all,

Do you follow your gut instinct when you are trying to make a decision about the right thing to do in your relationships (stay or leave, get married)? I find my instinct is sometimes very strong but doesn't always make sense e.g end a relationship that is very good because your instinct tells you they aren't the 'right person' for you. I tend not to listen to it sometimes because my instinct sometimes tells me to go in a certain direction in life but I don't think it is the right direction. Often if I have actually listened to it the decision ends up being a great one!

[Iva D]

Most of the time I do follow my instinct, but yes I am also guilty of ignoring it at times- when I feel that my logical brain knows better. More often than not I later see that my instinct was right. The main thing to do is to be aware that the instinct is not just a fear response. Sometimes it is easy to confuse instinct with other emotions- for example ending a great relationship, because they are not "the right person" may actually be fear of commitment.

Mostly though, I think following your instinct is the best way to go, it's also more random so makes life more interesting!

[Boisdevie]

First time I met GF on blind date I knew she was 'the one'. I am following my instinct and throwing caution to the wind - it could be brill, it could go pear shaped but wow what a ride. Woohoo.

[EnjoyingLife]

True, it can make life more interesting! The head sometimes tells you to be sensible but it's fun to throw caution to the wind, take a chance and listen to your instinct. It takes guts to follow your instinct with some things in life!

[xxazurexx]

If something doesn't seem right, then it usually isn't right. I'd never just turn a blind eye if something about a relationship seemed 'off'.

Mind you I have done....and always ended up hurt.

[IndiReloaded]

True, it can make life more interesting! The head sometimes tells you to be sensible but it's fun to throw caution to the wind, take a chance and listen to your instinct. It takes guts to follow your instinct with some things in life!

This is a stupid thing to do with important life decisions, such as marriage. Its the reason people end up divorced. There's an old saying about emotional decisions:

When emotions go up, intellect goes down.

[vashti]

I've regretted every single decision I ever made that ignored my instincts. Sometimes the cost was painfully high.

[doppelgaenger]

Follow your instincts, yes, but be logical about the decisions you make. Every penny counts, after all.
Sometimes instincts will get you killed, though.

[Gigabitch]

Make sure you know the difference between your gut and your heart. You can trust your gut. Your heart will get you into trouble if you let it make the decisions.

[IndiReloaded]

Sorry, can someone explain the difference to me?

[Gigabitch]

Your gut doesn't "need" anything.

[lahnnabell]

My intuition has helped me prepare for some difficult changes in my life. It's also complicated when my heart wants something different though.

For example, before moving to San Diego, my ex and I had everything finalized in a matter of weeks. He would leave early, and I would finish up my 2 weeks at work, then follow him out here. At the last minute, he anxiously decided that I couldn't drive by myself and that I HAD to drive out with him. I told him that it was too late, and that I had to honor my 2-weeks notice. He adamantly told me that it was too dangerous and it wouldn't work any other way.

Afraid I would lose him (a ridiculous fear now that I look back on it), I acquiesced and told my boss that I could no longer stay and had to leave promptly. My gut told me it was a terrible idea to burn the bridge, but my heart told me that I was doing it for a better reason. Regardless, 6 months later he and I split anyway.

I don't regret the way things happened though. Because my coming to San Diego allowed me to meet a very incredible person that I love very much.

[EnjoyingLife]

I find that my intuition is normally very strong but you still worry you are making a mistake when you end a relationship. Things do happen for a reason though either good or bad. I often listen to my instinct and tell myself it's incorrect, as I can't understand why I don't feel right about the relationship when the man I'm with is almost exactly what I want and not everything can be perfect! Maybe that's when you start making excuses for the man and your relationship......