I am unhappy after being in two relationships

[adi1031]

hi guys,

Please Please help me out.. I have been in two relationships so far.. The first guy i was with, loved me, pampered me a lot... He was very loving and caring... But he had some bad habits like.. Boozing, smoking, drugs(sometimes),abusing me when angry..
I broke up with him two years ago because of his insecurities and this kind of habits.. Then I met a guy in my office.. who took care of me while I was all in pain.. He said He loved me.. and it started... everything was going on well... This new guy is nice.. He doesnt have any bad traits which i mentioned above.. But He is very inexpressive, doesnt say nice things to me.. doesnt show his affection and love.. I sometimes feel suffocated.. and these days our relationship has become strained because of these things..
He doesnt understand my feelings.. He doesnt know how to make me feel happy.. We both are feeling helpless as I am not able to make him realise my needs and he is not able to understand my words...

Guys , please help me out... I am in a grave situation... I am stuck.. Should I stick to this guy or move ahead??

[xrwalker31x]

Well all men are different, if he cant make you happy, you shouldnt want to change him, thats just who he is and you shouldnt stay in the relationship in that case. Im sorry about the other relationship you had , but there will be someome out there you will feel the 'magic' with .


Good Luck x

[vashti]

It isn't his job to make you happy. That is YOUR job.

The thing about going from a boozing, drug using, abusive guy to a normal one is that the normal one can't compete in the dramatic moment department, and so their girls get bored very easily, and can't tolerate what is normal.

Have you done some reflecting on what compelled you to stick with the first guy? You may need to seek some therapy.

[adi1031]

Dear Vashti,

The First guy was in love with me madly.. He was in love with me since 6 years.. He used to give me surprise gifts.. He used to sing all those romantic songs to me.. He used to propose me everyday... Everything was perfect..
He got into bad company and started doing all this.. We are separated now.. But Still... I cant get him off my mind.. If he is not well, or is in some trouble... I am not able to sleep that night... Our Love was so pure.. So unmaterialistic...

The second guy is the total opposite of the first one... He thinks he is practical.. He loves me but He says he cant talk to me all time or give me surprise gifts.. or he cant do all this romantic stuff to me... He says if i am in some trouble..
He will try to help me (Which has never been a useful help for me)... After being with this guy for 2 years, I have realised that this guy is somewhat SELF OBSESSED.. He cant see anything beyond himself... And our relationship has been
a LONG DISTANCE ONE for 2 years... Whenever we are together.. he is too loving.. and when he goes back.. he remains unbothered and inconsiderate about me.. He says he cant call me more than once a day because I am a distraction to him..
He watches movies, Surfs Internet, Facebooking and other stuff.. thats not a DISTRACTION... BUT talking to ME is a distraction to him....

Now tell me... What to do? Shall I stick to this hypothetical "Normal" Guy?

[adi1031]

Dear xrwalker31x,


I am tired of being in relationships... I have lost my interest in love because of this second guy... If i break this relationship.. He will be not able to love anyone else.. Because he is too much attached to me.. And I wud also be shattered....
I know there is no point in dragging a relationship... But it will be a major heartbreak for both of us.... Now, tell what to do?

[TheTooya]

Have you tried talking things out? If this is a deal breaker, let your current boyfriend know.

[adi1031]

Yups... I have talked about this issue.. He says Gimme some time.. I will try to improve.. But after 5-6 days everything's the same...