Help me. I'm lost & very sad for my girlfriend.

[acerbus01]

Ok I have known this girl for a long time and we always had feelings for each other. Well I was dating at the time and she was underage (she 16 me 24) well now 4 years have passed and I finally got into a relationship with her. The problem is she is leaving for Afghanistan in like three to four months and im all torn up inside and she can hardly sleep at night because she is scared of going. I love her so much and she loves me but she keeps telling me that since she is Airborne/Paratrooper that she might stand a good chance of seeing combat. I told her that I would join the Army Infantry so I could get over there asap and request active duty and the soonest deployment I can get. But it's going to be 6-9 month's before I ever get deployed. I can't deal with the fact that the girl I have loved for so long is going away like that especially when she is emotionally tore up about going. Now that I know she doesn't have a choice but to go and do a year tour I try and spend every second of the day with her and I hold her so tight when we sleep because I know it's going to be a long time before I ever hold her again. I mean we have only been reunited for just a couple weeks but we are in love and have been for a long time but it's so hard to for me not to break down in front of her because I have to be strong and support this. She wants me to come to Fort Bragg N. Carolina until she leaves and stay off base with her and then I start basic. I don't mean to sound like im crying about the whole fact but it's so hard to see her hurting over having to go and possibly not seeing each other for a few years.

Any comfort would sure help right now.

[DoubleEight]

If you've loved her for this long, and she you, it must be meant to be, cliche as that sounds. Trust the fates to work it all out in your favor.

[cmacattack1]

So you are joining the Army in hopes of spending time with her and seeing her overseas in combat? I admire your devotion to your girlfriend, but this is a bit much. Do you even want to be in the Army if she wasn't? It's an outrageous reason to put your own life at risk, your own hopes and dreams on hold, just to MAYBE....POSSIBLY...see her over there?

I understand you love this girl, but there is zero rationality to this. Not only is she eight years younger and at a completely different stage in her life as you are, she chose to undergo this path of military service and these are some of the consequences of these actions. There are so many reasons why relationships just don't work out, and this may be one of these times. If you do pursue this, you are signing yourself up for years of service, and may not get to see her. Or you may overlap and have to serve while she is home. It's not worth it man, as I'm guessing this is the only reason you are joining.

If you know what you want to do with your life, you should probably find a way to do it without her. It hurts and it's painful to let something go, and she may be completely scared shitless and feel lost without you. But this is what she wanted to do, and if it doesn't go with what you are doing with your life, don't put everything on hold. You aren't getting any younger, and if you go through all of this and it still doesn't work out later on in life, you are going to harbor such resentment for her and feel like you lost so much time. You and her working out in life aren't guarenteed, but your future is completely in your hands. Don't sign up for more than you are bargaining for.

She may feel like the only one in the world for you, but she isn't. I'm not trying to be pessimistic and if you really want to do this, there is nobody stopping you. Really think this through and weigh it out with complete rationality.

[Teddy057]

Gonna agree with every Cmac said. I hope I read it wrong where you said you joined the army in hopes to see her over there, sweet baby Jesus. If you haven't signed your life over to them yet, please reconsider.... I feel like you are acting off pure emotion, and that's when you make really bad decisions. You need to rationalize this stuff man, if everything's meant to be like it sounds like it is, she will come home safe and sound. Then you two can live happily ever after and have a family, living in a house surrounded by a white picket fence. In closing, I would like to say focus on the RATIONALIZE part of this.... Don't act on emotion man, in this case it could literally end up killing you.

[acerbus01]

Well she isn't the only reason im going to the Army. I have my own reasons and god I hope we can make it through this but im not going to let go of her and the age difference is no big deal to either of us. We both decided long ago that I would wait until she was of age and ready for a relationship. I just never figured we would have to do it like this in the Army. Thanks all for the comfort.