SO girls are interested but then NOT after a day?

[jrharvey]

Ok so I guess I should explain a bit. Basically since I have been single it goes like this. I go out with friends (bar, party, whatever) and every now and then meet girls that express interest in me. Not just a little interest, usually a whole lot. Im kinda shy so usually they are the ones expressing interest in me and are sometimes very vocal about what they think. I would say 10 girls since I have been single, I have met, had a great night with, got along great, exchanged numbers and then dropped like I dont exist. So what does it take to actually snag a girl? I just find it odd so maybe you girls can help me figure out why a girls are VERY interested in me one night and then completely uninterested the next.

Ok I do realize that bars and parties are not the best place to meet quality women but when your in my shoes, there isnt much better places to really meet women. I work for a small company with mostly older people (im 25) and I dont really have any extra curricular activities other than hanging out with my friends and taking care of my dog. I just graduated last year and it was much much easier to build a good relationship with a girl because you could get to know them, ask them out, date a bit and then start a lasting friendship/relationship. I dont THINK im ugly. In fact I often hear the exact opposite and usually by the same girls that diss me. Id be happy to attach a pic if you think my looks may have something to do with it but I doubt it since those same girls are usually the ones that go on about how "hot, cute, sweet, sexy" I am. NOT MY WORDS so dont hate. Only repeating what I have heard so dont think Im cocky at all. Im very modest about myself. I will say my hight is only 5'6" and yes I am kinda short but dont you think a girl would notice that imediately?

So what sparked this this thread was really the last girl I met. I really liked this one and hoped things would be different this time around but I guess not. I was out with my roomate at a local tavern just casually having a good time. Later in the evening my roomate aproached a group of three girls and started chatting (he talks to EVERYONE). I walked over and joined while he introduced me to these girls. One girl in particular was instantly drawn to me. We talked random stuff, laughed, had fun and eventually she said I was jsut way too perfect and that I cannot be single. I told her I was single and she seemed shocked. She said she was as well. Yada Yada Yada we talked and at some point she said I had a beautiful smile and told her friend that she thought I was gorgeous (her words). Her friend then told me what she said while she was in the bathroom. To make a long story short, before the night was over I got her number and we parted ways. She did make me promise that I would text her because she really wanted to see me again.

I felt really good about this girl. She seemed amazingly perfect (especially for a girl I met in a tavern). I did text her the next day and we talked for a bit but she was really short with her answers. I sent some text asking a question that she never answered. Next day she said sorry for not replying but she was doing something. I said it was fine yada yada and asked if she wanted to do something. No answer. Next day I tried to spark up a convo but no reply. Its been 3 days since I have heard from her at all. Maybe you girls need more details and I would be happy to give them but I already typed a whole lot. This same scenario seems to happen over and over again for me. Sometimes we talk for a a few days but never leads to an actual date of any sort.

[phys251]

Wow...I have run into this EXACT scenario several times this year.

[girl68]

how about a paragraph or 7?

[jrharvey]

how about a paragraph or 7?

Sorry about that. So any advice for a guy

[girl68]

Pick UP THE PHONE AND CALL.

kids and damn texting.

[jrharvey]

Pick UP THE PHONE AND CALL.

kids and damn texting.

Ya I do think texting kinda makes things boring. I dont like texting but it seems thats all girls want to do nowadays.

[girl68]

Well clearly that ain't working- call. IMO texting is SUPPLEMENTAL- not the basis of communication. Phone calls are still the best. Texts are for " I'm thinking of you babe..." type deals.

[jrharvey]

Well clearly that ain't working- call. IMO texting is SUPPLEMENTAL- not the basis of communication. Phone calls are still the best. Texts are for " I'm thinking of you babe..." type deals.

I think you did open my eyes a bit. Ya it makes sense. Texting is stupid and I hate it so maybe I should change that next time.

[girl68]

Just give her a little old school chivarly. If she says "text me something" be like- I'm not big on texting but you can bet your ass you'll be hearing from me

Though don't get your hopes up with this girl it is likely too late.

[phys251]

Pick UP THE PHONE AND CALL.

kids and damn texting.

Already done.

[xxazurexx]

There are indeed some strange women around. I never ever show interest and unless I am interested...so I can't figure this type of female out.

I'd agree that a call is far better than a text though. I hate texting!

[jrharvey]

Just spoke to one of my friends about this and appearantly this happens all the time. Surely there must be some insight about what goes on through a girls head. He said that the last girl he met would call or text to set up dates and then cancel. She did this 5 times before she just stopped talking to the guy. IDK I think they are probably on to the next guy to do this to. Is it some kind of game to see how many guys they can get their number and blow off?

[girl68]

She wanted attention you gave it to her. It's like a man wanting to get in a gals pants- he'll say anything to get there once he does, mission accomplished- NEXT.

[Mish]

Ok I do realize that bars and parties are not the best place to meet quality women but when your in my shoes, there isnt much better places to really meet women. I work for a small company with mostly older people (im 25) and I dont really have any extra curricular activities other than hanging out with my friends and taking care of my dog. I just graduated last year and it was much much easier to build a good relationship with a girl because you could get to know them, ask them out, date a bit and then start a lasting friendship/relationship.

I think you've pretty much answered your own question. Bars and clubs are not good places to meet women period. For random hook ups and one night stands, maybe, but even that is debatable. The answer to your problem is pretty simple I think, don't go to these places to find a partner, focus your attention else where.

[lovesjoyajm]

Also, realize that the reason that bars and parties aren't good places aren't because there aren't quality women there, but because the atmosphere is not conducive to striking up a conversation interesting enough to capture their attention till the next day. If you start asking someone, "So, where are you from?" in a bar, you have to contend with the loud noises, the "what, couldn't hear you"s, etc.

I went downstairs and introduced myself to the 3 guys that live in the apartment below me the other day after I moved in. I stood there and talked to them for 10 minutes, and I feel like I could go have a drink with any of them and have a great time, because in that context, there was no need for any pretension, any "smoothness", etc. As soon as you approach someone in a bar, her guard goes up because she knows what you are "after" - a date, sex, whatever. If you can meet someone in a situation where her guard is down, where the conversation can take a natural course, people feel more comfortable and you can gauge your actual compatibility and see what you have in common in a way that isn't as transparent.