It doesn't sound like long, but me and my boyfriend had been together 2 and a half months, and I had completely fallen for him. I am a year younger than him and he is going off to uni in september, nearly 200 miles away from where I live. We agreed about a month ago when I bought up the top that we'd 'sort something out', and i'd have done anything to go and see him or whatever it took. i know it'd be hard, but i love him so I'd do it.
However, on his leavers prom night he sent me a text when he was drunk (classy) saying that although he adores me, he's not in love with me and his feelings aren't stong enough to make it through a long distance relationship. We met up the next morning and broke up. he text me the day after, saying that maybe he'd made the wrong decision, maybe had got caught up in the moment and needed some time to think.
I sent him a letter and when he still didn't give me an answer rang him up and arranged to meet. At this point (3 days ago) he said he was still undecided. When we met up it was going well. I was hopeful until he said he doesn't think we should get back together.
He says he doesn't see the relationship going anywhere, and feels that we've had our time. He doesn't think he can give anything more. Although I never said it, he knew I was in love with him and didn't think it was fair to go back into the relationship knowing that my feelings were so much stronger. He said that he doesnt feel he can be himself in a relationship right now. I kept saying that we should spend the summer together and give it a shot, but he's just not willing. He said that he never saw us in a long term relationship, but he acted perfectly, just how I felt.
As he walked me home I said I loved him for the first time, although really he already knew. We had so much planned. We had some beautiful and amazing times together. He's 18 and so handsome, yet somehow has no experience. We were meant to share our 'first time' together and it kills me that when he's ready for a relationship, I wont be around and that'll be with someone else. I can't be angry with him because he was so reasonable.
I'm finding it so hard to accept that I will never lay in his room at night again, and never wake up next to him. I feel there is more that I can do, even though he says that in his mind his decision is definite. He'll be gone in september so it's not even like there's time to work it out, especially as he doesn't want to. I hate the thought of cutting him out of my life and never kissing him or holding him again.
He's what I've always wanted in a boyfriend, gentle, kind, innocent. I just don't know what to do, I feel sick all the time and I just want it to be how it was, which was perfection. I hate to think that he rushed his desicion, even though he had 2 weeks to think...