Hi my name is Luke, am 21 from the united kingdom, I started dating a girl 2 years ago called Emily and we have had a good relationship, no real problems whatsoever until�. Last September. My girlfriend moved to a new student accommodation, one of her school friends moved into one the rooms down the hall , I had met her a few times previously but never really got to know her until then. Over the ensuing months we all started hanging out together and there were good times, no complications at all, then around Christmas we all went out, there was about ten of us, we were both by the bar, Emily went to the toilet , there was a brief moment which I will never forget, we looked at each other for about 5 seconds and my stomach had butterflies, I had always felt something weird when I was around her but I always dismissed it.
At this point I knew something wasn't right and I had to find out why I felt like that, however I brushed it of again and went to Paris with Emily for a 3 day break, Janine text me and said'' in need of a friend xx'' , I felt really elated but at the same time I was having a nice holiday with Emily. When we got back the tension between me and Janine was weird, we kept staring at each other while not communicating like we used to, Emily began to notice Janine wasn't herself either, it was horrible for a few months, Janine and Emily became distant as well.
During the week of the general election, I remember this week clearly , we were all watching coverage on the TV in Emily�s room and Janine suddenly left, really awkward, I decided to ring her later that night on my way home, I asked her what the problem was, she said '' don't you get it,, I can�t bear this anymore'' then hung up. I was getting more and more agitated, I remember kissing Emily around that week and feeling sick with guilt because at that point I knew I wanted Janine but at the same time still loved Emily, I though to myself I can�t love two girls at the same time, I put my attraction towards Janine as purely sexual maybe.
Things finally came to a head a week later when finally me and Janine confronted out feelings, we were in her room at halls of residence, I knocked on her door to ask her a question about something trivial, I grabbed her by the waist and then brushed her hair gently and kissed her, after that we had the most amazing sex. We have been seeing each other secretly for nearly 2 months and it�s been intense but very nervy at times, I feel guilty and have no idea what to do, I feel in some ways that I want to be with Janine but very scared to tell Emily, at the same time I love Emily, it's killing me, I feel awful.
Any advice?