Okay let me start by giving a little background.
I met this girl online about 1 year and a half ago, playing a game online.
We became good friends and started talking on the phone 2 maybe 3 times a week.
About months ago we started talking a lot more. We would talk everyday, and up to this date we talk about 3 to 4 hours a day. Every single day.
Feelings started to sprout. I fell in love with this girl's personality and even though we never physically met, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. ( I know... Its crazy but I cant help the way I feel)
I am a very good looking guy, and a very successful young doctor. She is gorgeous and currently a student.
About 6 months ago, even though we never met, we decided to be exclusive to each other until the day that we finally meet.
Now here is where things start getting complicated:
She has some childhood traumas that she says causes her fear of meeting face to face. I totally respect that, and NEVER pushed to meet her. I told her I would give her as much time as she needed. I do feel ready to meet her though.
(This is where my first red Flag happened: I know for a fact she dated other people on the past, and I know she has gone on at least 2 blind dates) So it has been 1 year and a half and she says she still not ready to meet me.... I try to reason that maybe its because we met on the internet, etc... But really after everything I am running out of excuses to myself....
Every time I bring up meeting, she says that she feels scared and wants to run away.... Which puts her on a very comfortable position.
She was very insecure at the beginning of the relationship because of the distance. So I tried my best to make her secure. So i told her what I feel about her, and how much I wanted her, and nobody else,etc.... That gave her the "control" of the relationship, and now I feel like she can pretty much do anything, because she knows that I want her really bad.
About 2 weeks ago, I found out that she was talking to some other guy(who was married) the same way she was talking to me. She would tell him she loved him, she would talk and chat, and even have phone sex. ( They never met)
I confronted her about it, and she said that she only did that because it was " a safe place" for her to be, because she could do whatever she wanted online on the phone that she knew because he was married that nothing would ever come out of it. Even though she admitted she at one point had feelings for this guy. They began talking even before we did, about 2 years and a half ago.
When I found out about it, I was absolutely devastated and my world shattered, because all of this was happening, when we were suppose to be exclusive to each other.
She cried, and seemed to feel really bad about the whole deal.
She begged me for another chance and said that she would fight for me, and show me that she loved me, and that i meant everything to her, and that the other guy meant absolutely nothing.
I decided to give her another chance, but I told her that if we were to be together after what happened, that I wanted to meet her. She said :" that's fine."
I put everything behind me ( trust me it still hurts) but I went into a mind set of forgive and forget. Because I knew that if I didnt our relationship could never work.
Then she changed.... She seemed a lot more preocupied now that she got caught, then actually hurting me and devastating me. She is more distant, more cold.
We still talk every day about the same amount of hours, and she still says that she loves me and wants to be with me. But not as much, and not with the same passion.
I understand that after everything I would grow a little more distant. BUt why her? I know she is doing this because she knows she can.... Because she knows I gave her too much power and the control of the relationship.
Also now, she is back to not want to meet, until she is ready again. Even though she said she would meet me before when things happened.
I really want this to work, and I am really giving this another chance. I am really trying to trust her, and give her an opportunity to show me that she means what she says, but everything up to this point has been just the opposite.
Seems like an obvious situation but its not. Not when you love someone so intensely and want to be with them.
I dont want to loose her, but I dont want to be played. I want to be respected, and I think I deserve someone who wants to be with me.
Please any advice, suggestion, etc.... GREATLY appreciated.