Best Friend's Girl

[IndiReloaded]

The alcohol is no excuse. It lowers inhibitions, which just means that certain personality traits come out more readily. In vino veritas, and your truth is you are an asshole.

Unless you happen to think that guys who sleep with their 'best friend's' GFs are good guys. The fact that you did it doesn't make you different, it makes you one of those guys. Oh, she's an ass too, in case you were wondering.

Yes, you should tell him. Its the decent thing, to warn him his GF is a cheater. But you won't. Few guys who would do what you did certainly wouldn't have the balls to own up to it. It would be a remarkable act of maturity and would mean you actually take responsibility for your mistakes. That's okay, tho. Sooner or later it will come out. It always does.

Grow up. Good luck.

[19_James]

What happened happened. It's in the past, i know I'm a good guy with more than a few flaws, so whether I'm an asshole or not is not really the argument. You guys only have this story to draw from, so it's a reasonable conclusion to come to. What I want is to cause the greatest amount of happiness to the greatest amount of people in this situation going forward, or consequently the least amount of pain to the fewest people. I'm a pretty logical person and maybe that's why I failed to control my emotions a week ago, but I don't see telling Mark the truth as the best scenario. I understand that it may be the most mature decision in society's eyes, but I don't see it as the most logical.

[IncognitoSir]

If you were a good guy like you say you are, you would easily see the "logic" in telling your friend the truth.

[19_James]

I disagree. Please explain. If I tell him, I lose two friends, Mark loses a girlfriend and a friend and Kelsey loses a boyfriend and a friend. If i don't, that all could happen, but it's just a possibility. Why would i simply give myself over to the worst case scenario?

[Gigabitch]

You lost the right to call him your friend when you betrayed him. Right now, all you have is a sham. You're not a real friend. And don't even get me started on Kelsey.

Your moral compass doesn't exactly point north, does it?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Maybe if you own up to it, and tell him how bad it's made you feel, he'll be able to forgive you at some point. If you actually like Kelsey, then make her your g/f, since by your logic, that causes the least amount of pain...you gain a girlfriend, she gains a boyfriend that she likes, and Mark is the only one that loses out. What do you think you should do?

If you were Mark, would you want to know the truth or would you rather keep living the charade?

[19_James]

I would much rather have the charade, honestly. I think I should simply cut out all the time I hang out with just Kelsey. I think that would be the best situation, but I'm not sure which is why I want to hear everybody else's opinion. I think some added background info would be helpful. At the beginning of the summer, there was talk of Mark and Kelsey trying an "open" relationship. They talked to me about trying a threesome, it was weird, so Mark knows Kelsey is attracted to me, but he ultimately said no to the "open" relationship. These next things are completely unrelated: We all go to different schools across the country, and all of them are top 10 colleges in the country. We all went to private catholic high schools. Kelsey is without a doubt the most attractive girl I've ever met. I am not an idiot. I do understand your arguments, I just am a naturally argumentative person who will defend my side.

[girl68]

You can justify it all you want. You can attempt to tell yourself that not telling is the 'right' thing to do. But you should know- he'll find out eventually. Yes, they always do.

You either stand up and admit- clear your chest and let Mark decide what to do with you. Or you take HIS life into your own hands and protect him from his lying cheating little gf. You do know that you're his BFF and you're supposed to be the one who help, protects and helps his relationships- but you've just destroyed trust- the foundation of relationships. I hope the weight of your horrible decision to betray weighs you down to the lowly alleys of life.

Let me ask you this: would you tell your beloved Mark if you found out sweet Kelsey screwed a random boy in a bar? Funny, I suspect you would in which case your motive for NOT telling is purely selfish.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If she's the most attractive girl you've ever met, then why not make her your g/f if there is a true attraction between the two of you? I mean, shit, if you've already done the deed, and you actually like her, and she actually likes you, then maybe you should tell her that you want her to date you, and that way you wouldn't have to admit to cheating you would just have to live with taking his girl(who isn't really his in the first place).

[19_James]

Making unsupported claims like "He'll find out eventually. Yes, they always do." accomplishes nothing. It's simply a waste of time. However, I do very much like your final argument girl68. It's an interesting scenario. You see, I could simply say that I wouldn't tell Mark if Kelsey did something with some random guy and feel all high and mighty, but once again, my current emotions could be playing a factor. However, this scenario entered my head well before any of this mess I'm currently in happened. She told me about how she almost hooked up with some random guy while she was on vacation. The thought crossed my mind over whether I would tell Mark or not if she had legitimately cheated and told me about it. At the time, I can honestly say that I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't tell him. And he is not my best friend. He's one of my best friends. I hang out in a group with about five guys, and I consider all of them my best friends. So it's not my one and only best bud here that I'[m cutting down. Not that it makes it any better, I just want to quell some of the emotional arguments that seem so prevalent thus far in this thread. Thank you girl68 for the input.

[19_James]

BackUpOrGetStng, the thought has definitely crossed my mind, as bad as it may sound. I do indeed like your argument. However, currently I value Mark's friendship more than a relationship with Kelsey, so as long as Mark doesn't find out, I feel like not dating her would be the more intelligent decision

[girl68]

WOW- damn. This kelsey is sooo not a catch. She thinks about her poonanny so much it's not even funny. I see now where your morals lie- I just wish MARK knew how loose your morals were in relation to cheating.

Final conclusion- POOR MARK.

[19_James]

This girl could get any guy she wanted just by winking at him. Please remember that. She constantly has guys hitting on her so when she drinks, sometimes she's not with the right people. In this situation, I was the "not right person." It sucks but don't judge her too harshly. Through it all, I was still only the third guy she's slept with.

[VincenzoG91]

What if it had been one of the other five guys in your group that had cheated with Kelsey? And let's say that you knew for sure that it happened. Would you tell your friend Mark? Or would you side with the other guy, the one who betrayed Mark? Don't you think Mark has the right to know that he was betrayed by that friend? Or does your answer change just because you were the betrayer?

[19_James]

I already answered all those questions except the first one. And that answer is simple, I would still not tell Mark if I found out it was one of the other five. End case. I feel like I've sufficiently covered that argument.