This is a complicated one

[ImportBunni]

Well lets see, I started dating this guy named Jon a year and a half ago. We broke up after 11 months of dating because we argued alot. Ever since then, weve gotten along just fine as friends but still seeing each other in a different way. Jon started dating another older girl and they were together for about 7 months before they parted on arguing terms as well before he found out she was pregnant with his kid. I started dating a guy 5 months ago and we are currently engaged and now Im pregnant. The problem is, I dont think I really love this guy Im with now because I still have strong feelings for Jon. My feelings never changed towards jon since we broke up. Now im engaged and pregnant with I guy I want to break up with because Im not happy. I was talking to Jon the other night and I was going to ask him how he felt about us getting back together since weve talked about it before but I found out that things have been going well with him and his babys mom and now theyre back together. I have no clue as what to do because Im still in love with Jon and dont know where to start as far as being back with him again. Can some please help me? Id appreciate it.

[sfalexi]

In hindsight a little birth control and perhaps the control to say, "No" when being proposed to might not have been a bad thing, huh? Now this guys REALLY gonna feel ****ed when his FIANCE decides to break up with him for the reason of 'never really loved you' after becoming pregnant with his child . . . . I feel sorry for that poor guy.

So my first thing is, for the love of God and all that is holy in this world, start being responsible.

And part of being responsible is just leaving Jon alone. You broke up. You went your separate ways. Leave it that way.

Break up with your fiance and let him know you're pregnant (if he doesn't already know). And please, PLEASE, figure out what you want in a guy before you go for it. And leave poor Jon alone. He's got a girlfriend, that's having HIS kid, and is happy with her. Don't create mass hysteria in HIS life too.

[ImportBunni]

ok now that was just messed up. At one point I did love my current man but i grew out of it after we were already engaged. he already knows that im pregnant thats whats making it so hard to break up with him. Now Jon and I have been "talking" for the past year about getting together again. After him and his girl broke up the first time, he said he wanted me back but i didnt take him back because i was still with Kevin. I was thinking of a way to break up with Kevin so me and Jon could be one again but i guess I took too long. Now i still want to break up with kevin regardless if I get back with Jon or not. But either way, I still need to figure out how to tell jon that i still LOVE him and want to try over again. Now, the whole thing about me using birth control...been there done that still got pregnant! Now does anyone want to give me real advice and not critisize how I live my life?

[Sami09]

You are totally in a complicated situation what you need to do is break up with the person you are with now no point being with him when you love someone else and leading him and he believe you love him you need to be honest with him. As for jon if he is happy with this girl its hard just try being his friend for a while and see whats happens. good luck to you

[King Zarathu]

Now.. I've been here for a while and I think that I agree with sfalexi. He does have a good point--that was completely irresponsible. To answer your question 'What kind of advice was that?!?' It was decent advice coming from a person who sees things differently than you do.

Now, Kevin is obviously not going to like this, because you can't live the rest of your life unhappily--it just doesn't work.

When telling Jon, be crystal clear in your explanation, be direct, and tell him EVERYTHING.

You might get rejected--coop with it.

=[LT]sK8eR2gO < n'zizzle >

[ImportBunni]

what was so irrisponsible? the fact that i did at one point love kevin but fell out of it just as easy? or The fact that birth control doesnt work as well as doctors set it up to be? Either way Im not being irrisponsible because Im taking care of myself and trying to work things through the best I can

[sfalexi]

what was so irrisponsible?

You didn't state that you were on birth control and took/used it regularly. I was left to guess what happened and I guess I guessed wrong on one account. I assumed (since I was left to do so) that you weren't using birth control or maybe didn't use a condom every now and then and it caught up to you.

I still say it was irresponsible to say "yes" to Kevin's proposal when you still had feelings for Jon. Usually people wait till the feelings go away to get in a serious relationship, let alone GET MARRIED.

In any case, break up with Kevin, and I say leave Jon alone. He's happy. Don't be the one to try to break up what looks to me to be a happy family. Time to move on.

Rod Steele

[ImportBunni]

Its not irresponsible if you really did love that man and was over your ex but then a few months after the propsal you fall out of love with him and fall back in love with your ex so thats irrisponsible? I DONT THINK SO! and i dont have to mention that i was on birth control for your peice of mind, hat shouldnt matter

[Clifton]

Bunny, dont lie to yourself, it doesnt work that way, you never stopped feeling anything for jon, you ran from those feelings, to kevin, and possibly ran from jon seeing someone else, to Kevin, you dont fall outof and in love with someone who your not even seeing.

[ImportBunni]

that made no sence at all. I didnt run from anything and im not lieing to myself. I guess i just loved 2 people at the same time but wanted to marry the other before I started getting envoled with my ex who I still to this day love deeply. I didnt run from anything

[Fawn]

Its not irresponsible if you really did love that man and was over your ex but then a few months after the propsal you fall out of love with him and fall back in love with your ex so thats irrisponsible? I DONT THINK SO! and i dont have to mention that i was on birth control for your peice of mind, hat shouldnt matter.

As a reminder. You have to respect that these are just comments and that they are originally out to help you with a complicated situation. Its good to know details (such as birthcontrol, how long you've been together, etc.) because it shows that you took care in the relationship. The details help us understand how to best give you advice.

Now, to the topic at hand.
Reminder that this is advice and of my own opinion so try not to take offence.
Birth control can have its faults. Most of the time someone will get pregnant on bc is not taking it everyday at the proper time. Though I have no idea how you used it. So its of no importance.
I believe your ex has finally found happiness and although he talks about getting back together in bad times, I really think you should leave him alone and let him live his life. Its odd that you feel out of love with your ex so easily and it seems it has happened again with your current fiance. Though I wouldn't be surprised that in a few months after you broke up with him again that you would fall back in love with him. realising what you are missing. I assume thats what happened with your ex to begin with (you realised what you were missing). I still believe that you should probably cut off contact with your ex. You may love him, but he loves someone else and shes having his kid. So, its probably best to move on take care of yourself, since you are pregnant. Thats what is truly important. The child that lives within you right now.

I feel very badly for your fiance. In his mind everything is perfect. This will tear him apart severly.

[Clifton]

that made no sence at all. I didnt run from anything and im not lieing to myself. I guess i just loved 2 people at the same time but wanted to marry the other before I started getting envoled with my ex who I still to this day love deeply. I didnt run from anything

no, THAT makes no sense, its impossible to be in love with more than one person at a time.

[ImportBunni]

no, THAT makes no sense, its impossible to be in love with more than one person at a time.

thats not impossible if it happens to people everyday

[ImportBunni]

Now I took my BC everyday maybe missing 1 every 4 to 5 months but I am 3 months pregnant and i keep noted on paper the days I miss taking it and the day this baby was round about concieved was not a day that I missed it or anywhere near the day I missed taking it. But thats not what Im worried about. I want nothing more then to have this child though it was not planned and I am ready to take on the responsibilities of raising this child on my own. Now i have already broken up with my fiance, not just for the reason that I still love someone else but reason that he just drives me up the wall and its gotten to the point where i dont want to be with him anymore. He doesnt make me happy when Im with him, he just pisses me off with everything he says and does ( and its not the hormones talking either ) Now My ex and his girlfriend where dating for about 6 months before they broke up because they cant get along, then he found out she was pregnant with his kid a month later. He still came around and visited her often to make sure she was okay. I wanted to talk to him the other day about possibly me and him getting back together and giving it a 2nd chance but I found out before I could ask that that he was seeing her again. His reason for that was that they have been "getting along". Now if you all knew the girl like I do, you would know that she argues alot with him about dumb stuff. She wont let him talk to me or have anything to do with me without them fighting about it. Me and this guy are still friends though and nothing will change that. I give it a month before things fall downhill with them again. Now, in the past me and my ex have talked about getting back togeher if things didnt work out with him and his girl and I wonder if thats the case now but I have not talked to him about any of this yet. Im afraid to tell him how I really feel and him get mad at me or something.

[Clifton]

thats not impossible if it happens to people everyday

it doesnt happen to people everday, im starting to see the picture now though, you remind me alot of the girl who ****ed me over and is now pregnant with my child: your just a very very confused girl.

First of all, if you love 2 people at once, in reality, you love neither, just yourself, because your so full of greed and unsatisfied, you feel you need both of them, bet. 5$ if jon got back with you, youd think about getting back with kevin, your a scandelous ho.

Second: A person like you, will never even feel what its like to be in love with someone.

Third, leave Jon alone, im sure hes just as happy as i am to be away from my crazy Ex, to be away from you.