I'm sure this sort of threat has been posted already, but I don't know if anybody has seen my exact situation.
I've been dating a girl for a little over two years, and since day one I've had people telling me it was a mistake and that she's a mental case. I completely agreed with them on the mental case bit, but I couldn't (still can't) help myself, I was completely head over heels for her.
So we've been through a lot, after not getting into the university she wanted, she had a pretty serious battle with depression where she pretty much isolated herself from everybody except for me. I was literally the only person she could talk to for about a year of our relationship. I wanted to help her get happy again, and she wanted me to help her through it. She said she loved me every day and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Now...I'm only 20 years old, so the "rest of my life" is a really really long time. So long in fact that I never made those same kind of statements to her. She never pushed me, but it was something I always felt I WANTED to say, but I couldn't bring myself to.
Since she's "gotten over" this bout of depression, she seemed to "get better" at least socially, she'd contact her friends without my insistence, and made a few friends at work that she'd go out with. Things were going great. The problem is, she's a very passive woman, and as such...I felt like I had to do a lot of the "heavy lifting" in this relationship.
The problems started a few months ago, I felt like the relationship was getting "stale", the intimacy was no longer there, and sexually the relationship was clearly lacking (I'm not sure how far into this I can go...I'm a new member and I'm not entirely sure what's allowed in those terms). At the same time, it became pretty obvious that one of her coworkers were interested. She maintained that she's not interested, and I had even seen her turn him down a couple times...but it was something that bothered me quite a bit (if only because she'd see him every time they worked together...and he was shameless).
So I talked to her about it. I told her it felt stale, I wanted "more" out of the relationship both emotionally and physically. We spoke, she agreed...and that was it. We went on for a couple months, and I made a conscious effort to stop the "heavy lifting". I wanted her to make the moves now. I wanted her to pursue me sexually and whatnot. But it never really happened. She started talking to her friends (I know this now...not at the time) that she thought I wasn't into her anymore...and things escalated.
So when I realized that this was going on...I didn't want to lose her. So I went to her, after months of barely any romance, and I told her I loved her and that I wanted to be with her forever. Her response to me was "I need time by myself to figure things out".
Now it's been a couple weeks...and we still talk. And I went to her and said "I'm willing to wait for you to figure things out, but I need to know if that was just a line. Should I be moving on with my life right now?" I really want to be with her, but I don't want to be stuck while she's already moved on. She told me that this is really just time to "figure stuff out", and that she honestly thinks there's a good chance she comes back. But if that's the case...if she knows she's just gonna "come back", then why take this break at all? Are we broken up and I just don't realize it? There is no other guy, I know that for sure...but how long am I supposed to wait? Should I wait at all?
Haha, I didn't eat or sleep for 6 or 7 days after it happened. I assumed it was just a "line", and that I had lost her. But this latest phone call makes it seem like I still have hope. How can I help her decision along?
Sorry about the length...If any more information is needed feel free to ask.