How Should I Be Here?

[doesntcompute]

I met this girl online through mutual friends and sadly she had something very tragic happen to her and she is to be honest a bit messed up, but so am I and I have nothing but empathy for her and we did meet once at a show last month, I do like her and wonder if I should tread carefully, she sends me awesome messages like this.

A lot of male friends just say the wrong things and don't let me open up. I feel alone in this bereavement and knowing I can talk and be real with you means so much to me, so much.

You are too lovely. Thank you for thinking about me you beautiful man. I don't want sympathy, but empathy, understanding and caring is so special, and I realize you know that, because you are a sensitive and good hearted person

Is this is a good thing, or does just see me as a friend and her rock at the moment?, I am happy to be her friend though.

Oh yeah we are meeting up for coffee tomorrow night and she asked me.

[kitkitkitty]

hello again is this the mutual friend between you and the ipod-keeping girl?
anyway, you should be happy that she's finally opening up to someone which happens to be you. i'd be careful if she's feeling fragile. only bring up personal subjects if she starts the convo. also, be careful about how you feel. try not to get emotionally involved with her as more than a friend, at least for now as she's vunerable and it may ruin things between you. go for coffee, make her laugh, pay for the coffee (!) and be happy that she's opening up to you.

[kitkitkitty]

also you being a rock is a good thing but leave it as mates for now, or she may blame you later on if things get complicated.

[doesntcompute]

hello again is this the mutual friend between you and the ipod-keeping girl?
anyway, you should be happy that she's finally opening up to someone which happens to be you. i'd be careful if she's feeling fragile. only bring up personal subjects if she starts the convo. also, be careful about how you feel. try not to get emotionally involved with her as more than a friend, at least for now as she's vunerable and it may ruin things between you. go for coffee, make her laugh, pay for the coffee (!) and be happy that she's opening up to you.

Hi Kitty, nope someone completely different, we are meeting up for a drink tomorrow night instead, it is really nice to get called a beautiful Man

Thanks as always for your great advice.

[doesntcompute]

also you being a rock is a good thing but leave it as mates for now, or she may blame you later on if things get complicated.

Yeah, I really don't want that to happen.

[nerdy_guy]

Don't try too hard on the empathy. It won't serve you well. Just go along and act as a friend. talk about other things aside from the one you're empathizing her with. When it all blows over, then you make your move, otherwise you might come out as if you are just hitting on her while she's vulnerable and you don't want her to have such an impression.

[doesntcompute]

Don't try too hard on the empathy. It won't serve you well. Just go along and act as a friend. talk about other things aside from the one you're empathizing her with. When it all blows over, then you make your move, otherwise you might come out as if you are just hitting on her while she's vulnerable and you don't want her to have such an impression.

That is some good advice, yeah oddly at Facebook she just changed her status to in a relationship and it's complicated, I am going to talk about all kinds of things and not let her dwell on her late partner, it's not like I go out of my way with the empathy thing at all nerdy_guy, it's just that I have been to hell and back a couple of times and can relate to her pain and anguish you know.

[nerdy_guy]

Well, that is a good step, if she wishes to talk about it, then just let her talk, she's venting out pain and other stuff, best to leave it at that. If she asks for some feedback, give her your two cents. Two cents really does mean just that I guess. Don't go into such lengths when giving feedback or you might give too much of yourself away, and might slip your tongue. I believe that when you went through your very own tough time, you'd want more ear, and less mouth to console you too right?

[doesntcompute]

I have decided to not go to a party with her, I think she might be an attention seeker as she says the same thing to other guys on her Facebook and I am just going to keep on looking, I actually remember the first we met, she was quite drunk and was chatting to me and when I went to get a drink she was all over the bouncer...hmmmm