Parents trying to get me to cheat on my gf

[Raze]

This is really interesting. My parents know I have a girl friend. Hell, I talk about it a lot because they ask me questions about her and she makes me happy. Why wouldn't I talk about her?

Anyway, my parents and I were eating at a restaurant. We were celebrating my mom's 60th birthday. She tells me, "Christopher, I'm going to tell you this only because I am older, but when you get to Graduate School, you should date other girls."

"Mom, that's cheating. I wouldn't do that to my gf," I replied.

"Christopher, don't limit yourself. It's not bad to date other girls when you go away to school. It's not like you're getting married to her," she remarked.

"We are in a relationship, mom!" I exclaimed.

I was really bothered by this. I couldn't believe she said to this to me. She's basically advocating cheating on my gf and the thought of cheating didn't even cross my mind and still doesn't. But, why would she say something like this?

[Gigabitch]

Did she really mean "date other girls behind her back" or did she just think you should ave a relationship that wasn't exclusive?

[Raze]

She used the words "date other women." I'm pretty sure if I found out my gf was dating other guys I would freak the ef out.

I tell my dad a lot of intimate details and he just sat there not saying a word. I was shocked at it all.

I can understand having a friendship with a girl, but I wouldn't date other girls. I will probably meet girls whom I want to be friends with when I'm at graduate school. I just had to emphasize that I'm not looking in anyone to date. It was just so difficult to get that point across to her.

According to my mom, if you're not getting married to a girl, you are free to do whatever you want. She believes that if you're not engaged or married than you're not in a relationship.

[girl68]

You twisted her words. She didn't say cheat. She implied you're too serious, too young and you might regret not dating around when you're older. That is not the same as saying, screw your gf nail every hoe you can get your hands on. Very different.

[hello1]

I think what she meant is, that at your age you shouldn't be in a serious relationship and limit yourself to one girl. Also an ideal would be to ask your mum what she meant?

[lahnnabell]

Judging from how bent out of shape you got about your g/f's FB status a week ago and the way you just twisted your mom's words, you have a penchant for creating additional drama. I suggest you get rid of this very unattractive trait right away.

[ecojeanne]

she meant keep your options open, you are too young to get serious. and she is right

[IndiReloaded]

You twisted her words. She didn't say cheat. She implied you're too serious, too young and you might regret not dating around when you're older. That is not the same as saying, screw your gf nail every hoe you can get your hands on. Very different.

This^. Date other girls prob means break with your GF.

[Mikeg542]

How is grad school too young?

[Raze]

Judging from how bent out of shape you got about your g/f's FB status a week ago and the way you just twisted your mom's words, you have a penchant for creating additional drama. I suggest you get rid of this very unattractive trait right away.

I got upset because that was how I was broken up with in the past. Once the person put that as her status, I got the whole lets be friends talk.

As for her words, I didn't twist them. I really like this girl and I couldn't imagine dating someone else on the side. How would you react if your bf was dating someone else? Think about it.

You twisted her words. She didn't say cheat. She implied you're too serious, too young and you might regret not dating around when you're older. That is not the same as saying, screw your gf nail every hoe you can get your hands on. Very different.

I'm too young for a relationship? I appreciate your input but I have to disagree with you on that one. Again, I'm not going to date around if I'm in a relationship with someone.

This^. Date other girls prob means break with your GF.

They've never even met my gf. I don't want them to right now. They go from you need to find someone to you need to date multiple people. Their advice doesn't make sense because they always chance their views.

I think what she meant is, that at your age you shouldn't be in a serious relationship and limit yourself to one girl. Also an ideal would be to ask your mum what she meant?

No, asking my mom what she meant would just be asking for trouble. That's usually when she tells me I have an attitude for disagreeing with her which is why we don't get along well.

she meant keep your options open, you are too young to get serious. and she is right

I'm not looking at marriage at this point. However, I do have plans to get married in my late twenties. I don't really see myself dating anyone else right now. She's my gf and I'm proud to call her that because she is a really amazing person. I don't think 23 is too young for any kind of relationship.

[girl68]

How is grad school too young?

It's not, but we're talking about graduatING school (ie HIGHSCHOOL)

[girl68]

As for her words, I didn't twist them. I really like this girl and I couldn't imagine dating someone else on the side. How would you react if your bf was dating someone else?

Dude, you didn't address the twisted words. Your mother is NOT saying cheat. She's saying she's scared that you're missing out on the normal dating experiences. THERE IS NO ON THE SIDE.



You'll see... for now go ahead be happy but realize that your mother isn't wrong for bringing that up. Just say "Mom, I understand. I'm happy with her in the meantime."

[Raze]

Dude, you didn't address the twisted words. Your mother is NOT saying cheat. She's saying she's scared that you're missing out on the normal dating experiences. THERE IS NO ON THE SIDE.



You'll see... for now go ahead be happy but realize that your mother isn't wrong for bringing that up. Just say "Mom, I understand. I'm happy with her in the meantime."

That's pretty much what I said. She never said cheat, however I do see dating a girl on the side as cheating. If she did that to me I would consider that cheating also. I'm not trying to twist her words. I can understand why she would say that I guess.

However, you have to know how her advice constantly contradicts her previous advice. When I was having bad dating experiences, she said, "you just need to find someone that makes you happy, hold onto someone who makes you happy and that you like" (and all that bruhaha). And as soon as I'm in a relationship she says, "you need to date around more." That's what''s bothering me right now.

I'm actually starting to believe that she's getting jealous, which is why she's acting this way. Whenever I'm out with another girl she gets bothered, but I really truly do enjoy spending lots of time with my gf.

I don't have any friends near me. It's not like I have a life besides work right now. I work a 9 to 5 job and my friends live in totally different states (probably 200 miles from me) because they were my college friends. I think it's reasonable to want to spend time with someone other than my parents.

You could probably say that I don't have any friends right now because I won't see my friends till the Fall and that will just be for a weekend because I will be far away from them due to Graduate School. She's really the only one I can spend time besides my parents.

[girl68]

You don't understand STILL. Your mother is still NOT SAYING DATE ON THE SIDE, she is saying date other people as in OTHER PEOPLE LIKE NOT YOUR GF. Do you get it now?

[girl68]

You don't have ANY local friends? Umm why not?