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Does he want more?
I've been seeing this guy for almost 8 weeks. We see each other at least once if not twice a week. Usually we watch dvd's, play Wii etc and it's all very comfortable. Originally, we started seeing each other, then he panicked a bit and said he 'didn't want to mess me around' and tried to let it go and just wanted to be friends. Then we discussed the idea of no strings/casual fun as he wasn't sure what he could offer at that point which we decided to try.
I usually go over to his place as he lives alone whereas I live with a flatmate. He cooks dinner for me as I do for him and we are comfortable with each other - he's even made me an entire cheesecake because I liked the first one he made! He moves his car to allow me a place to park when I come over, leaves a towel for me etc as I usually stay. He makes a real effort
and it's nice. He's paid me some nice compliments etc about songs that make him think of me and how attractive he finds me but he seems to get nervous around me in bed. I am not sure why he gets nervous - why would it matter if it was supposedly a no strings thing. I do my best to reassure him and compliment/acknowledge things he does etc both in and out of the bedroom.
The thing is, even though we talked about no strings/casual, from my observation there seems to be more there than he is letting on. He asks my opinion on things and the connection we have seems deeper than if it was just a no strings thing. We are going out for our first dinner and a movie tomorrow night. No strings usually means sex and that's it right...?
Am I reading it wrong? Is there a possibility he wants more and is not ready to vocalise or is he just being decent? I don't want to come right out and ask as I know that can be the kiss of death for a guy.
Any advice would be appreciated!
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I'm kinda confused...
1. Have you slept with him or not?
2. What do YOU want from this?
Otherwise, it sounds like he likes you, but maybe is afraid of getting hurt (again?). Know anything about his past relationships? Age also plays a part, so how old are you guys?
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Yes I have slept with him.
Personally, I want something more. I don't know alot about his past as yet though I get the impression he may have been hurt in the past just by some of the things he's said but I don't know whether that was in reference to relationships or family/friends.
He's 36 and I am almost 32.
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hmmm I think you should just talk to him. You don't have to be all full-on about it, but given that you want more than just FWB, you owe it to yourself to clarify this really. It does sound like he cares about you, but at the moment he is getting all the benefits of a relationship without any further commitment. You could end up getting really hurt if you don't clarify the situation, and by 36 you'd think he'd be able to communicate openly with you about it.
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