i'm very attracted to and interested in someone i work with. we're not good friends or anything (i'm relatively new there, only having worked there a few months), but we've hung out once or twice, with people from work. so in other words we hardly know each other and have only talked a little. however i feel an intense attraction to him. he's always nice and friendly towards me and sometimes i get the feeling he may be interested or attracted in return (but could it be just my imagination playing tricks on me?) and other times i feel like he doesn't even notice i'm there.
i've never felt like i HAD to do something in a situation like this, but now i do. my question is, would it be wrong, at this stage of hardly knowing each other yet, to just tell him (probably over the phone) that i don't want to make him uncomfortable but i'm really attracted/interested? my instincts keep telling me to do this, but i thought i'd gather the insight of a few other people first.
let me know if you need any additional information on the situation, as far as stuff that's happened, in order to understand it better. thanks!
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Thread: help!
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09-10-03, 09:48 AM #1
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help!
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10-10-03, 02:34 PM #2
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Well, the first thing to do is to probably gather some intelligence on him from other co-workers and see what his story is. Is he married? girlfriend? single? etc... and if the answers are favourable, then the next time you talk to him, just casually mention you two should go for a coffee sometime or, even better, during your lunch break track him down and have lunch with him.
Either way, you're going to have to break the ice because from what you have said, he's not going to.
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10-10-03, 04:46 PM #3
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Yup. Talk to him some more. Show your attracted to him by the things you do or say. If he responds in the same manner then you're a-ok! Since you're the girl, I'm sure you probably wish he would make the moves first right? Well if he takes too long maybe you should. It's always nice to have the girl be the agressive one. At least I would say so.
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11-10-03, 09:02 AM #4
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This is your mission if you choose to except it......
You need to do your homework. FInd out more..
Does he have a girlfriend? Is the big question. Ask him out if he doesn't ask you right away. Find out some dirt about from the ofice gossipers. All offices have them, they know things. Sometomes those gossiping women can be in your favor!"Remember always, that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
- - Eleanor Roosevelt
" It's not who we are that holds us back, it's who we think we're not."
- - Michael Nolan
"...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..." .... Lord, whats his name....
" The world is big... I want to see all of it before it gets dark." -- John Muir
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11-10-03, 09:18 AM #5
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Jane, once again, is 100% correct on this assessment and you should do what she says. Gather the dirt on him and act on it. It appears you're going to have to be the aggressive one on this matter, so go for it.
Like Jane said, offices are very gossipy (?!) places and I'm sure someone knows something about the guy. You will have to do it.
But, hopefully he's doing it to you, and he might make the first move. But, it is nice to see an aggressive woman once in a while.
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11-10-03, 09:27 AM #6
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LINEBACKER_2 you are great for my self esteem. I feel like I should get one of those sound machines that plays clapping and take with me everywhere! Thanks.
"Remember always, that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
- - Eleanor Roosevelt
" It's not who we are that holds us back, it's who we think we're not."
- - Michael Nolan
"...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..." .... Lord, whats his name....
" The world is big... I want to see all of it before it gets dark." -- John Muir
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11-10-03, 09:33 AM #7
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Hey no problem Jane, you give advice I always seem to agree with.
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