Terrible, terrible week. I don't know what to do please help.

[WaiKru]

I had an idea but wasn't sure about it. While we were dating I told her that before the end of summer I'd make her a collage of things that remind me of her/us and things we've done together. I was thinking about finishing this this week and having her mom leave it for her when she gets back. Her mom absolutely loves me and said she hopes we work things out, so that's one of the few things I have going for me on my side. And leave a short note with it like "I hope you had a great vacation. I figured I'd finish this up and give it to you since I promised I would. See ya." But I just didn't know if it was too early or what...

[Kyouhen]

In my opinion, it isn't enough, thats like giving her friends fuel to rip and tear shit ya know, plus doesn't mean your doing a lot of effort since it's just a little art project. To fight rumors and terrible things said about you, you gotta try be movie romantic ya know?

[WaiKru]

I know what you mean...oye...any ideas? I'm trying to come up with something she'll accept/I can get to her even though she's furious...

[lahnnabell]

The fact that everybody lies is not an excuse for lying. If you don't want to get caught in a lie, then don't lie. Period. It's pretty simple.

And I think smothering her with more attention right now is only going to keep her on the pedestal you've placed her on. You want her to trust you and by staying together she agreed to continue to trust you, but here she is badmouthing you relentlessly. Let her cool off, then you need to have a serious talk. Are you sure you wanna stick with this if this is how she chooses to behave?

[WaiKru]

The fact that everybody lies is not an excuse for lying. If you don't want to get caught in a lie, then don't lie. Period. It's pretty simple.

I know but I didn't lie at all this time. I'm not justifying my past, but in the present all I'm guilty of is some careless banter in texts.

And I think smothering her with more attention right now is only going to keep her on the pedestal you've placed her on. You want her to trust you and by staying together she agreed to continue to trust you, but here she is badmouthing you relentlessly. Let her cool off, then you need to have a serious talk. Are you sure you wanna stick with this if this is how she chooses to behave?

I am positive that I want to stick with this. This girl means the world to me and there's nothing she could say that'll make me love her any less. She's truely the girl I think I want to marry someday, so in my eyes there's not a whole lot I wouldn't go through if it meant getting her back. I just can't decide how long to wait to contact her and begin patching things up...

[lahnnabell]

I know you haven't lied recently, but as I stated before, lies are like poison. There are lasting effects of lying and you're experiencing them.

And as for right now, your GF is being a brat because she can. She knows about your history with lying (obviously) and is using that to fuel her anger at you. However, she made the conscious decision to work with you to rebuild trust, and she's not helping you do that by getting angry and badmouthing you to anyone who will listen.

Give her this week away to cool off. Call her when you think she'll be home and settled. I would steer clear of texting conversations right now because text-only convos get misconstrued very easily, and you don't need that BS right now.

[WaiKru]

Give her this week away to cool off. Call her when you think she'll be home and settled. I would steer clear of texting conversations right now because text-only convos get misconstrued very easily, and you don't need that BS right now.

I learned this the hard way. Someone else I know suggested writing her a letter? Would a phone call be better than this?

[lahnnabell]

You could write her a letter, but you might as well practice having these types of conversations verbally. If you want to stay with her, there will be plenty more conversations like this one to come.

However, writing it out can help you edit what you're trying to say first BEFORE you potentially stick your foot in your mouth.

[Kyouhen]

I suppose the two options given were, no contact at all, or full engagement, I mean both have downsides and plus so it's up to you in the end

edit: also I like the idea of giving some time to pass but before she gets back, surprise her ya know? give her a bit of both, gives you time to collect your thoughts and do what ya need to do, and she isn't feeling like you waited to long to act and her making the first step.

[boopei]

Holy hell...some of her friends that go to the club might now be spreading a rumor that I'm a "player" and always dance with girls and hit on them at work. Security isn't even allowed to dance at work! Ugh I just wish I could figure out what the hell to do here. Should I just go no contact for a few weeks (another forum preaches this religiously, but I've never been sure)? It appears she's going to have people whispering bad things about me in her ear now. So if I break contact and she only has them to listen to am I pretty much screwed?

I'm sorry I sound so frantic but I'm just really scared. This is the girl I wanted to start my life with...there's got to be a way I can't let her go.

The biggest things I can suggest. Be the best person you can be (but be who you are too, if that makes sense). I understand completely the want to not lose her, so be true to yourself so that she will SEE that the rumors are not true. I hope things work out if its meant to be, but if its not meant to be, I wish you the best in healing, and finding your true soulmate. I went through several bad breakups both of 4 years +.. and I'm 29 now and going through another one. LOL... so I still have hope for you and your situation. But if she doesn't trust, that's something she'll have to realize on her own I think

[VincenzoG91]

There might be too much negative history in this relationship. You might be better off starting fresh with somebody else, which shouldn't be hard from what you've described. Or maybe you should just stay single and date around for now.

[Untold Wisdom]

What do you do? You've even said yourself how much you truly care for this woman, so, being that this isn't rocket science and all - TELL HER!
If you really want to be with her, etc then show her that.

Simple.

[WaiKru]

What do you do? You've even said yourself how much you truly care for this woman, so, being that this isn't rocket science and all - TELL HER!
If you really want to be with her, etc then show her that.

Simple.

At the moment, nothing I'm saying to her gets through becasue she's so angry with me. She genuinely thinks I've cheated on her and is telling me I "never loved her" and stuff like that. I think I have to let her calm down a little, but I just need to decide on a good timeframe. I"m also torn between the decision to, once I begin making contact again, take it slow and gradually increase communication and rebuild our relationship slowly, or try to do something really really romantic all at once...

[Kyouhen]

Words aren't enough, small passive things aren't enough, do you love this girl?!?!? Do you feel for this girl?!?! Then actions brother actions!!!! Go ****ing show her how you feel, we been all saying the same thing, now go do it jesus!!!

[WaiKru]

Words aren't enough, small passive things aren't enough, do you love this girl?!?!? Do you feel for this girl?!?! Then actions brother actions!!!! Go ****ing show her how you feel, we been all saying the same thing, now go do it jesus!!!

Believe me this is what I want to do. I want to confess my love for her and tell her how I'm feeling, but in her current angry/defensive state I'm afraid it might push her away.

I'm sorry if I'm being difficult everyone. I just feel like this is such a fragile situation, I don't want to make the wrong move because she's so important to me I can't afford to mess it up.