Yes, pile it on because I deserve it.....
To cut a long story short I posted here many times about an ex gf I had who had a long distance bf and didn't tell me about him for 8 months until I discovered it myself. I'll skip all of the rest of the details and answer as needed, but anyways after maybe 3-4 months completely broken off and NC I ended up getting together with a long time friend who I had developed feelings for. Somehow on the exact same day the ex contacts me and tells me she loves me, how she's so sorry for what she did, about how she knows what she wants now and it's only me and that she and the ex are over.
At first I just figured she was lying like she always had and dismissed her time and time again. I told her to leave me alone and that it's too late for that. But she stayed around, repeating that she loves me and i'm the only one she wants to be with. And I let my emotions get the better of me so I started to believe her. And not only did I start to believe her but in my heart I hoped that there would become a legitimate way for my gf to break with me. So, low and behold a few weeks later my gf started huffing and puffing about something, started an argument over some doubts and fears she had about me. Well, if I really really felt that love in my heart what she said were things I could've worked through, but I didn't so I let it go. I did really care about my gf (and I still do) but I could never stop thinking about my ex who was pretty much my first real love. It was so serious that I almost even proposed to that girl.
Anyways after me and my gf broke up I went back to my ex like a moron. Hoping that she had changed like she said she had. Dreaming of being able to re-do everything and have the future I had envisioned. So I go to her and tell her the "good news" and she says "you took too long, i'm sorry but we can be friends." The girl who was professing her undying love to me no more than 3 days prior is now telling me what she feels is friendship. So there I realize I got played AGAIN, in an equally as painful way as I did the first time. But this one feels especially worse because "fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me."
So right now I fell stupid, ashamed, dejected, rejected, moronic, and pretty much like I wanna tie a rock to my leg and jump in the ocean (figuratively). I don't know how i'm gonna ever come out of this one.