Help!!!

[BlackRoses]

Hi everyone,

I'm new on the forum, and am pretty desperate, I'd love some help!

I don't know what to do about this guy I think might be starting to like me/fall in love with me.

We've been friends for a long time (about 5 yrs) but have got to know each other better just lately. We've got a lot of things in common and get on well but he's started flirting with me and saying things like how nice my hair smells and stuff. I like him as a friend and enjoy his company very much (we spend quite a lot of time together) but my other friends have started commenting on our relationship and saying that he's "hitting on me" and teasing us but I'm not sure I want to go that far...

We go out and about together with others and have spent time alone; he's never made a pass at me but we have sat toghether, put our heads on each other's shoulders, and he lets me lie with my head on his knee... He's like a good friend and I feel comfortable and safe with him (especially when we're alone with no-one to comment on us), but at the same time I can't work out our relationship. It's all really confusing; on one side I kind of like the situation and keep thinking about him, but on the other hand I'm getting a bit uncomfortable and just want to stay mates... I don't know if I'm falling for him or not and it's all just really wierd! Do I have a sort of crush on him? Does he have a crush on me? And whatever the answers to those questions, what should I do??? I really don't want to hurt his feelings and it would be great if we could stay friends...

Has anyone got any advice for me?



(Omg, I just re-read my post and it sounds really self obssessed, I'm sorry; the whole thing is really mixing me up though...)

[vashti]

I think it is pretty crappy to be physically affectionate with a guy you have no romantic interest in, when you are pretty sure he IS interested. I think until you figure it all out, you should avoid laying on his lap, putting your head on him, hugging him, and the like. Males have feelings, too, you know, and what you are doing is leading him on.

[BlackRoses]

You're entirely right, thank you.

[SapphireBerry]

Well If you are really falling for him and you ARE certain then maybe things will develop and you never know you may both end up in a relationship.
Better yet, if you want to stay friends and you feel he's coming onto you just be honest and polite and tell him you just don't feel the same way.
As vashti said it is not really fair to lead him on and show him affection unless you are sure you want him to start viewing you as a love interest
rather than a friend, giving him affection is going to make him want to move in further because he will think you are interested in him as well and
then when you start feeling uncomfortable and you reject him he's gonna be even more hurt because you gave him the idea you were interested.
Anyway is getting in a relationship with him really good for both of you? relationships believe it or not can jeopardise what you had in the past together
after an intense fight that whole five years you knew each other in a friendly manner would have just gone down the drain and will no longer matter.
I think personally, good friends are not the best to get into relationships with because you have already developed that loving bond and expanding
it and getting into a more serious relationship is not always good for the friendship bond. I've had something similar like this, I let him down gently even
though he took it badly, you just gotta go with your instincts. It's your choice all I can say now is good luck

Sapphire x

[BlackRoses]

Thanks, you're right - my feelings are confused and I'm not going to "lead him on" unless I find that I have fallen for him... And you're right; it's probably better just to stay friends instead of complicating the whole affair...