Confused and Unsure

[REDBILL]

Hi...this is the first time I have posted on this forum so not entirely sure of the protocol but would very much appreciate help with my dilemma! I am in the process of getting divorced having been with my soon to be ex wife for ten years. I am thirty four years old. Getting back into the dating game is incredibly nerve racking after been out of it for so long.
I met a girl last weekend at a social event organised by a good friend. I had been flirting with her all day although wasn't entirely sure I was doing it. She had been giving me signals as well but through sheer rustiness with flirting, i wasn't sure how much she liked me. Anyway as the day proceeded and as night approached the drink was flowing and i ended up chatting to her so a lot of the evening. She even asked me to dance but still being a social leper, I agreed and was walking towards the dance floor when my nerves got the better of me and I stalled and turned to talk to a friend, leaving her to dance with other people.
Anyway she came back later on and as the pub was thinning out and last orders had been called, we left the pub together with my friend and her boyfriend. We went to find somewhere else we could go onto but everywhere was closed. My friend and her boyfriend decided to go home and left the two of us alone. She suggested going home and as her house was on the way to mine, we agreed to share a cab. We got to her house and I almost in my semi inebriated state invited myself in. There was no protest! We ended up in bed together but we did not have sex as I was incredibly nervous. We both fell asleep after playing around for a bit.
The next morning, we woke pretty early as carried on where we left off, playing around. We also chatted between play sessions. As the morning wore on the playing got more adventurous and came to a point where she wanted me to have sex with her. i was still incredibly nervous and didn't. She said to me, if you aren't going to have sex with me, you can leave. So that is what i did. I got out of bed and put my clothes on and walked out the door with her almost shooing me out. I walked down the three flights of stairs in her flat building and got to the bottom and thought about what had just happened and kicked myself I didn't agree to have sex with her. I liked her and walked back up the stairs and was about to knock on her door and ask her for her phone number when the fear struck again and I just couldn't do it. So walked out the building and went home. I want to see her again and as she knows my friend there is a way of getting it. When I got home, I called my friend and told her I had gone back to this girl's flat but didn't divulge anymore details. I asked her to get the girl's number for me and she said she would ask the girl if it was alright to give her number to me. it has been three days and have heard nothing. Have I blown it with this girl? I felt I was doing the right thing but potentially it could be construed that I didn't fancy her enough to sleep with her. This is not true, I was just unsure of what I was doing. I would really value any help or advice with my quandary and whether there is a chance I will be able to see her again. I would especially value a woman's perspective on this.

Many thanks
Redbill

[adam95]

well i'm not the most experienced member on here but I think if she was interested in having a relationship with you then she wouldn't have wanted to have sex so fast. I think you were only her one night stand but you refused, which is the gentlemanly thing to do. you're just getting out of a divorce, take your time, look around. Enjoy being single for a while. Find out what it is that you want in a life partner considering your ex didnt have whatever it was. I don't think you should try too much with this girl any more.
this is just my opinion.

[REDBILL]

Thanks adam95, unfortunately I think you are right in what you've written. I think through my total naivety, I presumed that there was something more there than there actually was. I was clinging to the hope that there was someone who was genuinely interested in having something more than just a one night stand with me. I suppose most blokes would think that having a one night stand after having been in a long term relationship is exactly what is needed. I think I was missing being close to someone. I split up with my wife about 18 months ago but have only got over the whole marriage thing about 4 months ago.
I do genuinely like this girl I met last weekend but I suppose it would look like a sign of desperation now if I was to get in touch with her and ask her out for a drink. Ladies I would be interested to know whether you think it is a good idea or not to try and get in touch with her. Please advice needed.

Many thanks
Redbill