I would be asking too much?

[briggida]

Hello!
My boyfriend and I will moving together next month.
He is a member of a music association. The president said to him that if he could go with him to another city for a meeting the next month (on 26-28th of september).
My boyfriend said to me that on this date, we will be completely installed in the new house, and it is only a weekend.
I think that he could say to the president: I can't go to the meeting. I think that he leaves me that weekend, and he prefer the trip to stay with me.
I am wrong? I would be asking too much?

[rain.man]

That's asking a lot. Accompanying the pres. of an association on a business trip is a big deal. Unless there is something special about that weekend (birthday, anniversary, etc) I think you're asking quite a bit.

[briggida]

Thank you for the reply.
But we will moving together on 1st september, so we will be adapting to the new life, and he leaves me alone this weekend (24-26th september).

[rain.man]

If it were the weekend immediately after moving, then I could understand, you'd have excitement of moving together and tons of work to do getting unpacked and organized. But you're talking about almost a month after moving. By that point, seems to me it is just a normal weekend.

[RdHrshyKss]

yeah, he should definitely go on this trip because it might open up some opportunities for him, and you should let him go. don't be so dependent on him, it's only a couple of days, relax.

[briggida]

Thank you very much.
I know that he should go in this trip, but my mother died last June, so I am depressed and I miss her very much. I need my boyfriend all the time.

[RdHrshyKss]

i'm very sorry for your loss. it's never easy to lose a loved one. but i think this might be a good time for you to try to carry yourself alone a little. it's only a couple days. give yourself enough confidence. get some shopping done for yourself, pick up some kind of activity in the apartment or house like reorganize a room. just do something for yourself that will make you feel good. you are capable of making yourself happy. then just when you start to miss him, he'll be back soon and you can get all excited for his arrival. surprise him with something really nice or sexy. him going away could be a good thing!

[briggida]

i'm very sorry for your loss. it's never easy to lose a loved one. but i think this might be a good time for you to try to carry yourself alone a little. it's only a couple days. give yourself enough confidence. get some shopping done for yourself, pick up some kind of activity in the apartment or house like reorganize a room. just do something for yourself that will make you feel good. you are capable of making yourself happy. then just when you start to miss him, he'll be back soon and you can get all excited for his arrival. surprise him with something really nice or sexy. him going away could be a good thing!

Thank you RdHrshyKss,
This situation makes me think about if he will be capable of living together, because I think that he is immature and he don't think how I feel. Also I mistrust of him, because he flirted with a woman in his last trip (for a four days course last year). He told me that he didn't realize, but I think that it's a lie.

[vashti]

I actually think YOU sound rather immature, if you seriously think he should avoid going away for the weekend because you might get lonely.

Make some friends, please, or he will end up dumping you because you act like a jailer instead of a partner.

[RdHrshyKss]

i agree with vashti. if you cling too much to him, he is going to resent you. him flirting with another woman could be a result of him feeling too smothered by you. and this brings up a whole other issue...trust. if you can't trust him, why are you with him?