my bf called me the c-word last night

[RdHrshyKss]

ok...so my bf and i are very stubborn people. we butt heads sometimes in arguments. the argument was over something silly as usual, no point in getting into detail about the argument. what i want to know is how you guys would handle my situation. so last night:

1. my boyfriend and i got into a spat
2. i'm pms'ing so my patience is pretty much gone right now. he was arguing back because that's just what he does. doesn't matter if what i'm saying is right or not...he doesn't like admitting that he's wrong. since i'm pms'ing...i know the way i approached him could have been WAY better and he has a right to not tolerate it.
3. he says "stop acting like such a cunt"
4. i walked up to him and punched him in the arm really hard. i don't know what it is, but that word just gets to my core. i HATE that word. if i were to hear any guy use that word towards his gf, i'd actually say something to the guy even though it isn't my business. i can't stand it, my bf knows that i can't stand it...which is why he said it last night. because he felt like i was attacking him (which i sorta was) and wanted to attack me back.

my question is...am i the only woman who has a major HATRED towards this word and gets so riled up when i hear it that i want to punch my bf? what is wrong with me? i come on this thread and read other people's issues and give advice based on control and what i feel is the right thing to do. why the **** can't i do this myself!?! help me here people!

i know punching him was wrong, but i seriously could not control myself. i told him that i will not tolerate him using that word ever again. of course me punching him gave him an excuse to not acknowledge that and just spent the rest of the time saying how much of a psycho i am. at the end of the night we went to sleep without talking further.

after a full night's rest i know i overreacted. i told him i was sorry that i punched him, but that he knows how much i hate that word and the fact that he used it for the strict purpose of hurting me really pushed me over the edge. he said he was sorry for using the word and won't say it again. i don't believe him though. i have this strong feeling that the next time he feels backed in a corner, he will use it as ammunition out of habit.

if he says it again, should i just get up and leave? i know it's only a word, but it's just the malicious intent behind the word that i can't stand. and our relationship is not an abusive one. we each have a our fair share of getting at each other every now and then because we're both extremely stubborn. i think the issue is that he doesn't understand why i feel so strongly about the word. i don't think he has MALICIOUS intentions behind the word when he says it to me, more like he just wants to get at me because he feels i'm getting at him.

there is no other word that i can't tolerate. i literally HATE the c-word with a passion!

[vashti]

This topic came up recently, and I have to say, I agree that this is THE most vile word that can be used.

However, he didn't call you a cunt. He said you were acting like one. That's not the same thing.

Also, you can't really say "i'm sorry i punched you, BUT......." The word "but" negates your apology. YOu need to apologize for hitting him, period. To be honest, that was the worser offense by FAR, and I doubt I would encourage him to forgive you for it. Sorry.

[RdHrshyKss]

This topic came up recently, and I have to say, I agree that this is THE most vile word that can be used.

However, he didn't call you a cunt. He said you were acting like one. That's not the same thing.

Also, you can't really say "i'm sorry i punched you, BUT......." The word "but" negates your apology. YOu need to apologize for hitting him, period. To be honest, that was the worser offense by FAR, and I doubt I would encourage him to forgive you for it. Sorry.

you are right. maybe i am a cunt haha. my stubborn side in full force.

i don't know what it is...when aunt irma arrives i am literally such a bitch. for the most part, he knows how to stay out of my way, but what the hell? does anyone have any natural remedies that might help me in this department? i started taking evening primrose but it hasn't been that long so no noticeable changes. and that's more for pain i think than like the emotional side effects of the evil .

[IndiReloaded]

I'd feel more sympathy if you didn't punch him, Rd. Apologize to each other and move on.

[vashti]

you are right. maybe i am a cunt haha. my stubborn side in full force.

i don't know what it is...when aunt irma arrives i am literally such a bitch. for the most part, he knows how to stay out of my way, but what the hell? does anyone have any natural remedies that might help me in this department? i started taking evening primrose but it hasn't been that long so no noticeable changes. and that's more for pain i think than like the emotional side effects of the evil .

Try cutting out the bad carbohydrates. My PMS is always worse when I haven't been restricting them.

[RdHrshyKss]

i just apologized for real and he said he accepts/believes my apology. i still feel bad though

[RdHrshyKss]

Try cutting out the bad carbohydrates. My PMS is always worse when I haven't been restricting them.

thanks, will definitely try that.

[IndiReloaded]

Guilt is overrated. Just don't do it again. Do you expect him to apologize too? If so, tell him. Cunt is pretty offensive, tho I think I'd die laughing if I ever heard it from my husband. Some words just do not suit certain people, IMO.

[RdHrshyKss]

Guilt is overrated. Just don't do it again. Do you expect him to apologize too? If so, tell him. Cunt is pretty offensive, tho I think I'd die laughing if I ever heard it from my husband. Some words just do not suit certain people, IMO.

he did apologize for saying it when i gave him the half-fast apology like vashti said. i agree with vashti that my reaction was worse than him saying it...so i'm just going to leave it. he said he won't use it again. if he does, then i'll have a whole new set of issues to worry about. at that point, maybe i'll have to acknowledge that this relationship is not heading in the direction i want it to and i'll move on.

i've been applying for other jobs, and although i'm keeping him in mind when considering moving and such...i am keeping the option of us not being together in the back of my mind. maybe it's a sign that i'm anticipating that we aren't going to work out in the long run. but i don't want to be pessimistic about everything, just prepared...

[Raze]

Cunt is just poor taste. He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed to me. No offense.

[RdHrshyKss]

Cunt is just poor taste. He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed to me. No offense.

he's sharp in certain areas, and not so sharp in others. and yes, that makes him not so sharp in "knowing what to say, when to say it" department. i have to defend him in that i know he didn't use the word because he truly connects its meaning to me...he just said it because he knows i don't like it. when i first told him how much hatred i have towards that word, he didn't really understand it. to him it's just a word (and it is) but i look at things in a much deeper way than he does. he has a very simple-minded outlook on things and doesn't understand the necessity to dig deep into everything. it's just a difference in our personalities. it's good because sometimes he helps me to stop over-analyzing things in certain situations and i help him think a bit deeper when it's necessary. he's a computer geek and his social skills could use some developing. we've been together 4 years and i have to admit that over those 4 years, he has matured a lot...as have i. i can be a nag sometimes and he is not very tolerant of it, which he shouldn't be. as annoying as it is, going through this crap is sort of helping us balance ourselves out a bit.

[Raze]

he's sharp in certain areas, and not so sharp in others. and yes, that makes him not so sharp in "knowing what to say, when to say it" department. i have to defend him in that i know he didn't use the word because he truly connects its meaning to me...he just said it because he knows i don't like it. when i first told him how much hatred i have towards that word, he didn't really understand it. to him it's just a word (and it is) but i look at things in a much deeper way than he does. he has a very simple-minded outlook on things and doesn't understand the necessity to dig deep into everything. it's just a difference in our personalities. it's good because sometimes he helps me to stop over-analyzing things in certain situations and i help him think a bit deeper when it's necessary. he's a computer geek and his social skills could use some developing. we've been together 4 years and i have to admit that over those 4 years, he has matured a lot...as have i. i can be a nag sometimes and he is not very tolerant of it, which he shouldn't be. as annoying as it is, going through this crap is sort of helping us balance ourselves out a bit.

That's good. =) I'm happy for ya.

[RdHrshyKss]

That's good. =) I'm happy for ya.

why thank you Raze...at least you aren't calling me a slut lol

[Raze]

why thank you Rase...at least you aren't calling me a slut lol

Only to those who cheat just because I've experienced it and I know how bad it is.

[RdHrshyKss]

i've been cheated on too, it sucks. people are too damn selfish to care about how their actions will affect others.