my bf called me the c-word last night

[Raze]

i've been cheated on too, it sucks. people are too damn selfish to care about how their actions will affect others.

People are just bad with temptations in general. I don't know why it's so hard to not have sex with someone when you're in a relationship with them.

I also hate the excuse: the alcohol made me do it! Worst excuse ever.

[RdHrshyKss]

people don't know what the hell they want so they indulge to make themselves feel good.

[lahnnabell]

My dear, I'm really beginning to think that there are some serious underlying issues with your relationship (not just you personally). You two really seem to bring out the worst in one another, and I'm quite surprised this relationship hasn't completely imploded yet (or has it in the past?).

A typically hot-headed person like yourself is generally better matched with a person of opposite nature. Cool water to your red hot fire, if you get my meaning. This guy is not that. He, as well as you, looks for every excuse to get under your skin when he's feeling pissy.

How have you been doing since your last thread? This is a tiny step back, but it happens. But yeah, the insults and the hitting need to go. None of that actually solves any problem and you both really need to learn that through and through.

[lovefool87]

I think your boyfriend is the D-word for calling you the C-word. He was also being an A-word and a little B-word too. LOL

[RdHrshyKss]

yeah. it's weird. we have some really good weeks, and then something like last night happens. and over something completely stupid.

i mean i know that not everything is going to be perfect all the time. as long as we are making progress (which i think i see happening overall?) i'm content with sticking it out. but like i mentioned before, i'm looking for another job since i haven't gotten a raise in over 2 years. in looking for other jobs i have been keeping the option of needing to live on my own or be near my family in the back of my mind. maybe it means that i'm slowly coming to grips with things not working out in the end and i want to be prepared for that.

i am extremely hot-headed...something i've learned from my mother who in turn learned it from her father (yay for being italian and having the napolean complex). i hate the way i act sometimes and PMS just makes it worse. there have been tons of things that my bf and i have been working on over the past 4 years and i have seen a decent amount of my habits changing. i mean, i'm only 25 years old. we started dating when i was 21 so there has been a lot of maturing going on by both of us.

my instinct to hit him last night was disgusting and childish. it's something that happened between me and my siblings growing up and i can't stand that i did it. he does bring out the worst in me sometimes, i acknowledge that, and i'm sure i do the same for him. when i look at my past relationships, i wasn't happy with guys who were really laid back. i don't know why, maybe because i felt like they just couldn't understand me. now i'm with someone who won't tolerate my hot-headedness but the way he retaliates just gets me more upset. he doesn't get hot-headed, he just manipulates things like crazy to the point that i seriously want to cry, but being stubborn i just get angry. until i don't know what to do anymore, then i cry lol. the issue is ME. i need to figure my shit out and stop looking at the way i behave in terms of what other people are doing.

our lease runs out in April 2011. i'm going to continue concentrating on working my own kinks out and see if anything changes on his end. if not, i think i'll be ready to move on. i'll move back home with my rents, clear my head, get myself up on my own two feet without another person and then start looking again. but i'm really hoping that there is an improvement

[RdHrshyKss]

I think your boyfriend is the D-word for calling you the C-word. He was also being an A-word and a little B-word too. LOL

lol, and i was a total F-word for punching him

[lahnnabell]

You need to work on you, and he needs to work on himself. This will both keep you on the same page, but when you guys have stupid spats like this one, someone is derailing the progress. And then the other follows suit out of habit. You have to break this cycle before any real progress will be made.

I hear a lot of hopefulness in your posts, but not a lot of well-thought out proactive solutions.

[RdHrshyKss]

You need to work on you, and he needs to work on himself. This will both keep you on the same page, but when you guys have stupid spats like this one, someone is derailing the progress. And then the other follows suit out of habit. You have to break this cycle before any real progress will be made.

I hear a lot of hopefulness in your posts, but not a lot of well-thought out proactive solutions.

i know! looking back at last night, i started it. i was in a pissy mood and took it out on him...he knew it and retaliated. oh woe is me!

i know what i need to do, now it's time i start doing it

[lahnnabell]

Keep me posted. I need to focus on something else other than my own issues right now

[RdHrshyKss]

Keep me posted. I need to focus on something else other than my own issues right now

lol, will do. i hear ya

[IndiReloaded]

Well, I think you should view this as a closed argument now. He screwed up, you screwed up, everyone apologized. Next. Doesn't sound like anything other than totally normal relationship stuff to me.

[asdfg789]

I think your boyfriend is the D-word for calling you the C-word. He was also being an A-word and a little B-word too. LOL

lol, and i was a total F-word for punching him

it's beginning to feel like sesame street around here ...

[nov13]

When you argue, you guys should never make one another feel like you are against each other. If you truly feel he is a part of you, you wouldn't be against him as it would feel like you are acting against yourself. There are plenty of other people who want to kick you down, you should stick together and lift each other up.

[Henry123]

there is no other word that i can't tolerate. i literally HATE the c-word with a passion!

What are the chances of him saying it again?

You have to ask yourself if you want to continue with such a relationship. Its doubtful he will change.
Maybe both of you should see a relationship expert (at least she/he could act as a mediator) and hopefully workout the issues between both of you.

(just my 2 cents ideal)

[doppelgaenger]

All I have to say is you need to have some self-control. If it only takes one word for you to lose your cool, you don't have very good self-discipline.