What do I do? Help!

[adamjkok]

I'm a freshman in High School. I've never had a girlfriend, but I want one REALLY badly. There are several reasons for this:

• I'm a geek. Like a computer geek, not one that reads a lot.
• I don't have any real friends. Not in school, at least.
• I don't have the courage to talk to a cute girl, much less ask one out.
• This ugly retarded girl stalks me and everyone thinks I'm dating her simply because I haven't beaten the crap out of her.
• I'm just plain ugly and every girl in my district (even the so-called "ugly" ones) is simply out of my league. Period.

Additionally, I have been labeled as gay in the past because I have never had sex with a girl, much less dated one.

[rain.man]

This has gotta be a troll, but on the off chance it isn't:

(1) So what if you're a geek? I work in IT, I spent my high school days taking programming courses and breaking into the network admin's workstation. Being a geek never hurt my chances.
(2) So make some friends.
(3) Talking is a precursor to dating. You're just gonna have to bite the bullet and do it. You already have isolated yourself from everyone, what's the worst that can happen?
(4-5) Lose the attitude. That's gonna kill your chances more than your looks, and it probably explains (2) as well.

You're what, 14? 15? Little secret: 3/4 of the guys calling you gay for still being a virgin are lying their asses off when they claim to have had sex already. The average age for first times is 16-17 for guys.

[adamjkok]

This has gotta be a troll, but on the off chance it isn't:

(1) So what if you're a geek? I work in IT, I spent my high school days taking programming courses and breaking into the network admin's workstation. Being a geek never hurt my chances.
(2) So make some friends.
(3) Talking is a precursor to dating. You're just gonna have to bite the bullet and do it. You already have isolated yourself from everyone, what's the worst that can happen?
(4-5) Lose the attitude. That's gonna kill your chances more than your looks, and it probably explains (2) as well.

You're what, 14? 15? Little secret: 3/4 of the guys calling you gay for still being a virgin are lying their asses off when they claim to have had sex already. The average age for first times is 16-17 for guys.

How am I a troll? There's a big difference between a teenager who is being resourceful and asking questions on a forum because their individual situation is very unique and can't be helped by general guides found on sites like eHow and wikiHow and a troll.

Definition of a troll (from Wikipedia): In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. In addition to the offending poster, the noun troll can also refer to the provocative message itself, as in "that was an excellent troll you posted". While the term troll and its associated action trolling are primarily associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels highly subjective, with trolling being used to describe intentionally provocative actions outside of an online context. For example, recent media accounts have used the term troll to describe "a person who defaces internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families."

And how do I convince people that I'm not dating the retarded girl (let's refer to her as "Ruth," even though that's from a name generator and not her actual name). The only way to prove to everybody that I'm not dating "Ruth" is to get a girlfriend. The only way to get a girlfriend is to prove that I'm not dating "Ruth." Do you see why this is kind of a paradox?

"Ruth" also tries to sit with me on the bus, and in my district, you can get written up by the driver if someone asks to sit by you and you refuse unless there are already at least 3 people in the seat. Even if I got written up and explained my situation to the Vice Principal (who handles less severe offenses), he is still really strict and would assign Supervised School Service (4 hours after school on friday picking up litter). The Principal is a lot nicer but he only handles big stuff that would require suspension or expulsion. When she sits with me, she attempts to touch my butt and I have to swat her hand away. She also uses her cell phone to take pictures with me and grabs my hand or arm when she gets scared. No matter how much I explain to her that I'm not interested in her, she doesn't seem to understand.

[rain.man]

The general tone of the post sounded like the kind of trolls you sometimes see on boards like this. And thanks for the Wikipedia copy-paste. I had *no* idea what a troll was before now (yes, that was sarcasm).

You're a geeky guy who has trouble talking to women. That's actually pretty normal

Why does it matter if some people think you are dating Ruth? If she is truly retarded (as vague as that term is), no one is really gonna put a lot of value in what she says to begin with. It is no more paradoxical than claiming that the only way to prove you aren't gay is to sleep with a girl. A few dumbasses will make snarky comments about you, but any of your peers with with more than half a brain will see the absurdity of such claims.

Let me throw out a suggestion: why not become friends with Ruth? Rather than pushing her away like everyone else does, be her friend. Be the sweet guy who looks after her. I'm not saying you should use her for your own benefit, but being that guy can actually raise your standing with some ladies. And you'd be surprised how long those friendships can last (the *only* person from my pre-college days who I am still in regular touch with was a special ed kid from middle school that I made friends with, and who has made *significant* improvements in his interpersonal skills over the years).

[adamjkok]

@rain.man,

I have already tried becoming Ruth's friend, and when people noticed, the bullying became worse (and we grew apart, but she wasn't happy about it). In fact, it all started when she fell down when exiting the bus (we both get off at the same stop) and I asked if she was okay. Immediately, bystanders said to help my "girlfriend" up. Since I live in a small-ish town, word spread very quickly.